A-ha Moment Explained

We're all substitutes. yep, subs until we find something that one right thing that would probably make us want it to be the last.

I got a call yesterday. I was sleeping, told them to call me back. It was an Australian company. And you know how my mind gets piqued by offers from other prospective employers. Yep, exactly that. I told Glenn I hope they don't tempt me to make me even take a look in the possibility of leaving yet again.

Once I told Pat he's got bugs under his soles. He can't seem to stick it out in one company. For 4.5 years I was with NCO and he managed to jump off 3-4 different companies. And though I've done my own waltz from one door to the next, I still can't keep up. BUT I think I have the bug too. And that's pretty darn disappointing.

So I told Glenn, "maybe I should just listen and see. They haven't made any offer. Unless they'd tell me to go to Australia."

And he said, "Yeah, if there are travel opportunities then maybe it's time to consider it."

And I thought out loud, " Or if they give me something really nice for my salary package. Something I can't refuse as Paul would always remind me before."

He answered, "If that's your priority. But you said you want a company and job where you can stay with for a long time. It seems you're in a pretty good place now. Not once have I heard a complain from you other than you're bored cos it's petiks. That ain't so bad really. Unlike before where I hear you rant daily. Pagka-online palang reklamo na."

And I said, "You're right. Unless I get an opportunity to travel. Well, I asked them to call again and I'd listen, that's all."

***

Then this moment I saw THAT movie and wote THAT blog entry. A few minutes after my phone rang. As planned, I listened.

The girl on the phone said, "One of our employees here submitted your name and you highly recommended for the position of a Senior Workforce Manager. Are you interested?"

And to my surprise I answered, "I just took on a new job, thank you for the interest but I don't think I'm looking for other opportunities at the moment.

Oh hell. Just lost my bargaining foot there. I could've gotten my six digits finally BUT I made my choice right? Yes, I was HOPING until that very minute my phone beeped again that I made the right choice of not even giving them the chance to talk me into it.

*beep* 1 message received. Joy Lo.

My boss. Ohhhh. I'm always scared whenever I get messages/calls from my boss. It was never good. Especially during Paul's time. He only calls when something's majorly wrong and he expects me/us to work on. That's our job! Sabi nga niya, "You should be available 24/7. In all your numbers, cellphone, landline and whatnot." Hays! So my nerves are always racked the moment my phone shows ANY of my bosses' names.

"There's a staffing summit in the US mid-July. You want to go?" She asked.

"Required?" was my stupid answered.

"Hinde naman."

"Ok sana pumunta pero ambilis na nun. That's July! Sayang."

"Korek."

I guess I just turned down a free trip to the US including the free processing of my visa. Stupid huh? Well a bit. Then again, I got my answer to my a-ha moment.

This morning I told Glenn I'd go to the company who'd give me travel opportunities. i just got offered an opportunity. So maybe it's time to stay. And maybe it was right to say no to that other company. Though Australian companies would give me a day job. Hahaha~

Time to head to work and battle my way in. Soon I'd be handling the site. Soon. Let's hope I'd be around when that happens cos that will be the bomb...and Pat will sure be proud of me. It's a race to the top still...after all.

Taking The Wheel

I'd have to admit that the past few weeks have been really hard for me. Though the new job is a welcome change and though the people I work with are just pleasantly awesome, I still feel out of whack somehow.

It's like walking for the first time. You just have no control over your limbs and your walk is just never straight. I was like that...until now! For the first time since I started here I felt like I got to accomplish something. I did the schedules by myself, the committed and the final shells. Great! It's no big feat I know, but I'm extremely happy. Hopefully, I'd lose my staggered pace soon. I really am not comfortable in this set up. I have to be in control. It has to happen really, really soon.

Also, I've been getting non-stop messages from highschool and gradeschool friends. After 2 of my high school buddies contacted me out of the blue, a grade school classmate texted me too. Upon finding out we work within the same area, he asked if I could meet up with him. I did. I had coffee with him and I enjoyed it immensely, much to my surprise. Y'see, we were never really friends. We don't get along back in grade school. And as he said, I was the class nerd. Much to his surprise though he saw a different me. So, anyone who won't believe me when I say I used to be a dork, go talk to him. He'd tell you just how icky I was.

Kait and I have been drooling over these charms online. Hopefully soon we'd be able to meet up and have some custom charms made. Ang arte namin noh? Hahaha~ Kelan kaya yun Kait? Nuninuninuninu.

And Now She's Leaving?

Unbelievable!

The sole reason why I finally pushed myself to leave is also leaving. If I knew that...Well...I really can't tell if I would've stayed. Then again, maybe I'd be able to, at the very least, enjoy my last few days the more.

Hinde rin pala niya kinaya. And if she thinks she won the battle because I bailed out ahead of time, she's wrong. I'd follow her around for as long as I want. I have to find out where she's headin. Maybe some of my contacts can help me. After all, I was able to track down 4 out of the countless women Pat hid from me...I'm sure I can find one Bakeks! *evil laugh*

Pro

I asked my TL if they have a report here showing the call arrival pattern daily per interval with 7 days worth of data. He looked around the folders and then went to my station. He worked on an excel sheet for 5 minutes and ended up giving me a summary of the information for the entire month of February, a pivot table with all the info I need and a graph for the call pattern. And all I did was ask if we have any information...tsk, tsk!

3 Years Is A Long Time

*** Part 2

I became an RTA with no clear understanding of what life would be after. I came in the day of the launch, Richard asked me to take a seat behind the CMS and I stayed there for 16 hours straight with no breaks. I didn't even had the time to pee. The following days were a nightmare. No sleep, unending work and long hours. What was I thinking? Hahaha~

One unexpected thing happened though. I met new friends. Huggy became one of my most loved agents there. From the moment he asked for my number claiming we have a common friend named Ronald McDonald to that time when he brought a jarful of M&M with peanuts because I said I don't like Nips and would rather have M&Ms.

The team also became a tight group. Me, Jane, Orange, Pao, Mami Sha and Art. We'd slave for hours and extend unendingly but would always end up with a smile because we were able to find something good to look forward to the following day. Though I was still heartbroken at that time, my days and my nights got so busy I don't have time to remember I was whining over someone. That helped a lot. Really. And the promotion came in the most opportune time.

3 months into production they hired a new RTA. He was to be my partner since I was the only RTA in the afternoon. On my rest days Pao and Mami would have to extend or come in early to cover for me. It was tiring. They told me Boss wanted to hire Carol Silang then. I was not too sure I wanted her. She was way too noisy and boisterous for my silent self. I thought I won't like the shift with her beside me. Good thing Art and Richard convinced boss to take a guy instead. When they told me they hired someone from AT&T I got excited. His name didn't sound familiar though, but his girlfriend's name does.

BJ was brought in a week before Valentines 2005. Then, Pao and I were telling him to be careful because of the RTA curse. Everyone with a long standing relationship tends to end up in splitsville the moment they become RTAs. It happened to me and Pao.

I met him on a Wednesday. Thursday that week he came to me and said he's got the curse. He hugged me like old friends (I was a bit ilang pa cos I'm not too touchy feely with new acquaintances). The following week, something happened and he ended up soaking my shirt with his tears. That was the start of our friendship. An emotionally draining one. BJ became my partner in so many ways. He made work worthwhile and became someone who's constantly there for me. Soon after him, several others followed.

The early days were spent drinking with BJ and Paopao at nineteen20. We'd talk about how hard it is to pick up the pieces after a break up. We became a tight band of broken hearted souls.

One time, BJ was at the yosi area chatting with May. I've known her since AT&T as she'd always talk to Carme during breaks. They talked about BJ's very rocky relationship then and ended up being really good friends. She started to hang out more with us at our station. One day our agent, Randy, told me he'd be out with May and another agent Paolo Joaquin for the night. I said I can't come since I'm gonna meet my High School friends. That got canceled though. At 11PM when I went off the building they literally kidnapped me. They hauled me inside the car and dragged me to Morato!

That became a weekly thing for us until Paolo J. was replaced by BJ and Morato became Tagaytay. With them I learned to drink again, I learned how to pass out elegantly, how to throw up mindlessly in a hotel room in the middle of nowhere, drag myself to the restroom, crawl in the middle of the night with a throbbing head, sing like a diva, dance like Madonna and have fun like it's the last day of my life. I picked up where I left when I suddenly decided to be an adult. I remembered how nice it was to be uncaring and young.

At the same time this was happening I tried to get back with my college barkada. After shift I'd be a regular tambay at their apartment near UP. We'd stay until the wee hours of the morning. We'd work on their thesis, we'd play games (Riders on the Storm was their theme!), horse around and get drunk. I was ecstatic to have them back after my self imposed solitude when I started to work. I started to feel really good about myself again.

My love life also picked up about the same time. After a year and a half of constantly bugging me to go out with him, I finally went out with Patrick. I was, after all, finally single. In the following months, his red hatchback would a staple in front of the ELJ Building every 2AM-4AM. That's when his shift would end at Epix and he'd head to see me afterwards. I'd go tell BJ I'd take a break and he'd let me go. He knows I'm gonna meet some guy downstairs whenever I tell him I'm taking a break. Hahaha~ He knows I don't take breaks.

Life then became a mixture of eclectic sweetness. I have my work, my UP friends, my RMH buddies and Patrick. I'd head to work at 2 in the afternoon, spend the next 9-12 hours with BJ and May, Randy, Rei, Jodi, Angelo and everyone else that matters. After shift I'd head to the apartment, talk like crazy and just have clean fun with Randell, Janrey, Mak etc and head home at 6AM. Sleep until lunch and head back to work. In between I get to see Pat and maybe also head out with the RMH people. It was a fun life. And the months flew by like nothing happened.

It was also a crazy time. Randell and Agnes became an item after we "forced" them to kiss each other one night. Patrick got together with Dianne and I decided to disappear when Cecille came into the picture once more. May started an illicit relationship with an attached guy. BJ got his ex pregnant and slept with Rei who also got pregnant (but BJ denies it's his). May got mad at Rei. Randy and Rei were convinced May's got something for BJ that's more than friendship. Randy kissed me and said he's fallen for me but we decided to let it pass. Huggy resigned. Mon was hired as RTA. Jane and Pao became an item. I had an ongoing spat with Orange...AND ABOUT 10,000 other things happened the best probably was that I finally patched things up with Glenn. I made a promise that he'd always be a friend and finally, I was able to deliver.

By the end of Summer 2005 I was tired.

I saw how it was like. I saw things differently by then. And I was ready to slowdown again.

Things after that was pretty monotonous. BJ and I got transferred as GY RTAs. I'd head home early after work since thesis period was done and no one's hanging around the thesis house anymore. And I met a new set of people from P*yups that Ladit introduced to me. Things were slower with them. Coffee dates. Dinner. Hanging out at Elbow room. Merienda at UP. Isaw afternoons. And the same happened to work. It was not as hectic as before since BJ and I have learned the tricks of the trade. We're like a well oiled machine. We worked so effectively we don't even have to render overtime like the other RTAs. Patrick at this time was a casual thing. Sometimes there, sometimes not. After months of havng to explain to Darvin and Lester (and all the tambays at the yosi area) who owns the red car that speeds by after dropping me off in the middle of the night, it just stopped appearing on our driveway. No more rendezvous in the middle of the night. And no more drunken moments and dreaming stupor to worry about. I was grounded and I was surefooted.

By December that year, they announced that Gerber's leaving the company and they need to hire a new scheduler. The post was offered to me. They said they wanted me to consider before they open the position to the everyone. I was hesitant. Art though talked me into it. Better to be a well rounded workforce personnel he said. I accepted the post and I was able to welcome this new job together with my 24th birthday. I held my birthday at McDonald's and had a kiddie princess party. I thought, I won't be young forever and I could definitely go insane now. The UP guys were there, the p*yups peeps were there, the RTAs, May, Carme, Randy, Hernan and a very pregnant Rei.

Just like with everything that's new I was staggering a lot at first. The only thing that kept me going was my team. By then the workforce team has grown so close we really felt like a family. Though I was happy there, finances became a problem. My aunt stopped supporting my family. With a set of jobless parents and siblings starting college, I felt it was my responsibility to help. I started to look for another job. Unfortuntely, Paul got to it even before I can. I decided not to pursue any of them. I'd rather stay than leave and have someone report to him everything that I've been doing. It doesn't seem right.

As my confidence with my job grew, my life once again turned into a monotonous case. So the moment Patrick knocked on my door, I welcomed him immediately. By then he already left Epix and was hired to start up another center. I became a fixed figure at Eastwood as I'd spend breakfast with the p*yups gang and I'd spend the night with him while waiting for my shift to start. Of course, something happened. And in between the coffee dates that I'd have with Yuri, Abel and Aian I was crying again.

Summer was spent healing myself. I was resolved to get everything back on track. At this point, all I wanted was to go back to the year before. Where summer was all fun and laughter. I want to cruise around the metro without having to worry about anything. But it didn't happen. My group has now disbanded. Rei transferred to Sykes, Randy's with Ambergris, Jodi and Angelo left, May was spending time with iska and Ian more, BJ was with Tinay and Mishka was taking the rest of his time too. Booie stopped showing up. Aian transferred work from Eastwood to Makati. Abel transferred work too. Patrick was giving me all the attention I need. And old friends at RMH left even before I was able to say goodbye.

After summer, Pat and I were able to pick up where we left. And just like before, just when were starting, things got really nasty. Cecille became an ally. Sad part was, though they've been through more than what I had with him, it still hurts that he denied he had anything to do with me. It was hard enough being the "other" woman in everyone's eyes, it's harder when you're denied of even such a horrible title.

At the same time, work became more and more frustrating. The amount of work was not, in any way, equivalent to the perks we're getting. Final blow was when we learned Paul was leaving. We all wanted out.

By this time, Hernan and Penny became an almost permanent fixture in my life. Hernan and I would slowly dissect my disastrous history with men and Penny and I would rant endless about work. Not long after we've formed a tight group who lives on coffee alone. hahaha~ Anything's bearable as long as you have friends to talk to and the right amount of caffeine to induce the happy hormones.

The next few months was a steady fall from then on. One by one I was losing everything. The team was slowly becoming non-existent. The only reason why I decided to hold on was by now an almost indistinct memory. I tried to get by with what I have. I tried to be as effective as I can be with work.

Then my Dad had a heart attack. I never felt more numb. For days I was not feeling anything. The emotions were constrained in my head, but my heart can't feel anything. How would you feel if you had to go through all those things? Daily I woke up feeling like all I want was go back to sleep and forget my sad reality. Work was a mess, school's a mess, my finances' a mess, my personal life's a mess...I was ready to just give up. I didn't know there were more things to come though. And that was the final blow.

I started to lose respect for the people I'm working with. I don't think I'm working for the right team and the right side anymore. I decided it's time to move on. Fate is tempting me and all I have to do is jump. I no longer have the team to worry about, I'm in dire need of an extra income, and my boss is a big bitch. What else is left consider?

Fate helped me recover from the feeling of lost fast. I got 3 offers in no time...and now I'm officially out, starting a new thing which would hopefully be better than I've expected. There would never be another RMH but there would always be another chance for something new.

3 years is a long time. It might not seem much from someone else's perspective, we all know some people stay with other companies their entire life...I guess, for me, 3 years just ain't the number of years and days I spent with a company. 3 years means having to meet a million people and having to say goodbye to almost all of them. 3 years means having to learn to cope up with losing friends and gaining enemies. 3 years means having to go through 2 heartbreaks and thousands of caring smiles. 3 years is a long time really.

3 years is a long time.

Wrong Turn

For the first time in years I'm stumped with something that I can't understand...Well, it's about work. Y'know WORK. It's not about my personal life. If it's something personal, don't ever think I'd ever got around that. Men can't be deciphered.

Anyways, I'm trying to unlearn everything I know and develop a new way of thinking. Everything's different now. I don't think percentages or call pattern and volume. I think butt to seat and headcount. Hard numbers with corresponding personalities. Hahaha~

I was working on the process of changing shifts. After 3 days I gave up. I looked at my boss and told him, "I give up, I can't do anything anymore. Give me something else."

He said, "If there's nothing you can do then there's nothing." And went on to give me another task.

I haven't even met the entire team, I haven't even learned the entire process, I don't even know how to run the lines. All they're asking me is to look at the schedules and come up with a process. Darn. I feel so inadequate.

Hopefully after my weekend, I'd feel more refreshed and would be able to think more effectively and come up with solutions that would blow them all away. (I know for a fact that I can blow them away in a different way...but I don't think they'd like that).

Everyone went home early, including Paul. I only have Ron, my RTA who's in charge of my account's reports and one RTA downstairs whose name I forgot (basta daddy dating niya and he used to work for the government as a statistician and this is his first call center job). And since no one's around and Timmy can't join me for dinner, I asked Rei to drop by since she's just at Sykes OSMA. I treated her ar Jobee and played catch up. It'll be KDs birthday soon.

I have to buy a really good book later before heading home. I need a good read this weekend. No gimiks. Texted the guys, Mikey's busy, Sir Nonoy have this out of town thing and Randell never replied (as if marunong siya magreply). Ryan and I decided to just resched everything back to March 17.

I also have to buy a new pair of shoes. My 3 inch heels would one day send me to the grave. I can't commute with 'em everyday. Hey! I've been riding the MRT for 5 days now. Wehehehe~

Wee, I love my 21" LCD screen monitor and my optical mouse...at work...that is. Sosy!

Saying Bye Again

I went back to RMH after a week. It feels alien to me all of a sudden but it also feels comforting to know I'm in my element. No awkward stares, no guards challenging my presence, no frowns from management while trying to figure out who I am and no one calling me Hannah~! Hahahaha~

However nice and warm it made me feel, I also felt a valediction that my decision to leave was my only option. I don't belong there anymore. Though I'd always have fond memories and I'd always, always tell my RMH stories, I've outgrown the corral that I've called home for more than three years. It was time to move on. And there's no better time than now.

On the other side of my overactive mind, I just bought a set of mineral make-up from Everyday Minerals which will be shipped here by international courier. When I computed for the postal shipping it ain't bad really, $10 is equivalent to me getting a round trip cab ride to Glorietta for a day of shopping. So no biggie, plus the fact I won't get harassed or lost. Hahaha~ Convenient really.

Then there's work...Hay...Can't say anything other than I can't wait for the weekend. I'm not burned out with my new job, I just got awfully tired because I never had the chance to rest in between jobs. Heck, they were overlapping!

Me go back to RMH tomorrow. Will head to gym as well. Sana lang magkalakas ako, it's 11am and I should be up by 5.30pm. Nice.

Could It Be

Hernan said I am but I never really thought it was a possibility. Then I saw this...

Women who can’t commit?!

By Elina Furman

For years, it was the men who had the monopoly on commitment-phobia. But what about commitment-phobic women? Yes, women! Raised to believe that men are the commitment-shy gender, many women coast through life completely oblivious about their own commitment anxiety—believing they want a relationship yet systematically pushing away one perfectly suitable candidate after another. Isn’t it high time we looked at ourselves and admit that maybe, just maybe, we are the ones who have become commitment-challenged? If you’re ready to finally face the truth, go down the list of these common symptoms and see if any apply.

• Once the excitement of first romance has passed, you get bored in most of your relationships.
• You have a habit of dating unavailable men (married, involved with someone else, geographically or emotionally distant, etc.).
• You have a long and elaborate list of requirements for your ideal mate.
• You consider your married friends’ relationships boring and feel that many of them have settled for too little.
• You cultivate larger networks of friends and acquaintances at the expense of romantic relationships.
• You date more than one man at a time to prevent becoming dependent.
• You have a difficult time getting over past boyfriends.

Check the second, third, fourth, fifth and seventh and you have me! Darn, darn, darn.

Check the entire story here.

And BTW, wish me luck tonight. First day on a new job. Yipee~

3 Years Is A Long Time

***PART 1
This is a very long entry that you really don't need to read.


More than 3 years ago I took a step inside ELJ Building for the first time. All I wanted at that time was to be able to be with Glenn again since my stint in ICT was putting a lot of strain in our almost 2 year relationship. Of course, I never told him that, now you know.

I felt that the pressure then would be somehow relieved if we'd get to spend time together. The fights were just too taxing then. It was affecting my job. And you know that when that happens people would start to ask questions. Being too private, I decided to turn my back from ICT and the friends that I made there. Though Mayne and Darwin tried to convinced me, I knew I had to do this for the relationship. Even when Patrick called me a liar and coward then.

Wearing my shirt and shorts and tsinelas, I went in to pass my resume. Glenn has already passed the screening weeks before. When the girl who took my resume saw I had previous experience, she asked if I want to wait and be interviewed that same day. I said I'm not prepared and I'm not wearing appropriate clothes. She said it's ok and that I could wait inside. I did. It was 10am. I went through 2 interviews, 3 exams and one last panel interview. After 10 hours, at around 8pm, 3 of us were left behind. By that time I was so hungry and tired all I want was head home. Glenn was good enough to wait for me, outside, with no seats while it was raining. You just don't know how I appreciate that as I look back now.

I rendered my 15 day notice at ICT and I gave them the most gregarious lies that I could come up just so they would stop bugging me to stay. When I learned I was to be part of Batch 1 of their Customer Care account, I got excited. We all know what that means in the industry. Plus that means I get to be with my then boyfriend.

First day of orientation and I was late. I thought, it can't happen again. It was raining hard and I just couldn't get a bus at MCU (yes, for a time I was a commuter). By the time I got there everyone was staring at me, a roomful of about 50 people. I don't think they'd remember me now. My wet hair and my mud stained pumps. That P50 divisoria umbrella and my tired face. I was 10 minutes late and all I could hear in my head was, "nakakahiya ka!"

That's where we met Adrian.

We were told that our training schedule would be announced at the upcoming Holloween party at Virgin Cafe and that we're all required to come or else we'd never know the schedule. We met up with Adrian then but Glenn got sick on the way and I had to take him home. Good thing Adrian was able to text us all the details and so the following week, training began.

Back then they were still building out the 6th floor. The only place that resembles a workplace would the the 4th floor training rooms which the DA occupies as their mini production area. So the training of over 12o agents and several managers were done at Tektite. That's where we got together with Class Alpha. Surprise, Glenn, Adrian and I are on the same class. Together with John Garcia, Gina Butawan, Ferdie Francisco, Jaypee Pagdanganan, Mariss Ibay, Chie Gomez, Rose Espinosa and about 20 other people we started training. When the training rooms at the 5th floor got built after a week, we transferred there and they introduced us to Ana Rodriguez, our Puerto Rican Trainer.

I tell you, training was a lot of fun. And until now I still use the word "foncused". Hehehe~

December 2003 was a whirlwind of events. The opening of the 6th floor, the graduation, the launch of the account (I remember Miel took the first ever call for Core LD group then).

By then, my personal relationships weren't doing real well. I wasn't in speaking terms with my Dad and sister. My family is still fighting. My boyfriend hates me for being so darn pushy. It might not seem like it but I was pretty pushy then. I guess all the things that I can't say to my Dad, I took out on him. He was patient though. He was not perfect but he learned to channel his frustration somewhere else and not long after he became the favorite of everyone.

As the days go by, I was starting to see how each person I've befriended is really like. I started to really hate my manager then and even several new friends. It was nothing personal really. It just didn't feel right.

The job was gruesome. 90% of your calls would be from irate callers. We felt so pressured. On one hand this our job and we have to do well, on the other hand we felt like we're working for scammers. It just felt wrong. And when I'm in any kind of stress, my body gives out a signal. By January I've had 2 cases of larycopharyngitis and a case of stomatitis (I didn't even know what this was until then). I was absent for a greater part of that month. I was told I can't be absent again...then I had the stomatitis, I'd go to work and wait for them to send me home so it won't be considered an occurrence. One of the OMs was a registered nurse and Erwin said maybe I could wear a mask so I don't need to cover up my mouth all the time. I had so many sores and wounds then that I can't sleep because my entire mouth was hurting. Nevertheless, I came to work at 2am every night for more than a week. They'd send me home and I'd stay in this empty room beside the pantry (which would later become the Ladies Sleeping Quarters) and wait the night out until I can head home and repeat the entire cycle the following day. By then I've become known as the girl who's got SARS. Well, the mask WAS scary. People looked at me as if I'm contagious.

There was a time when I was so sick, I passed out at the locker area. I forgot my pen and a few minutes before login time, I asked Glenn to come with me to get it. Before I could say anything, I was out. I was brought to St. Luke's. Nothing was wrong with me. I'm just stressed. Ewan! I now became the girl who collapsed. Darn!

By then, Peaches, who was my OM asked my Manager to terminate me on grounds of my absenteeism. With this, I countered. I made a letter and pointed that according to the employee handbook, any consecutive absences with a valid medical certificate would only merit one occurrence. Thus I've only 3 occurrences. They let me stay. Erwin talked to me and asked me not to be absent until regularization day. I gave him a promise. That was January 28th and regularization day would be March 22nd.

I came to work as usual. Never late nor absent. There was a time though that I had to take some time off because my lips were healing but sometimes the scabs would crack and my lips would bleed like crazy. There were times when I'm on a call and Apple, my seat mate would just pass me a wad of tissue. That means my lips are bleeding again. That went on for 2 weeks, but I eventually got better.

By first week of March, I was doing really well. My CSAT was always perfect. My adjustments were always perfect. My AHT was 13minutes and that's the only thing that sucked (it's supposed to be 7.5 minutes).

I became the team's golden girl, not because I was a seller (that goes to Anto and Daddy Ricky) but because they can ask me any question about the product, any process, any adjustment code and I'd be able to answer you in no time. The downside about this was the fact that absolutely no one wants to take my sup calls. Point is, if I can't figure it out, then they're useless. I'd call helpdesk and even John Garcia would curse when he gets me because he can't seem to answer my questions. There was a time I was on a call for 2 hours and all the man wants was a supervisor. I've begged Anjo (my TL), Chie (another TL) and Beni (my TM) but none would take my call. Glenn was a TL then already. Though I hated the fact that I'm asking his help (there's always been healthy competition between us, even now...we're very competitive e hahaha) I went to his station and cried just so he'd take the sup call. Sissy ko noh?

There was also a time when Glenn was out, it was Valentine's and he had to bring his mom to the airport, and this super irate customer just won't stop cussing me. My TM was listening to my call and gave me the signal to drop it. The moment the line was cut, I started to cry. That account was soooooooo stressful, believe me.

One day Peaches called me into her office. I was so darn scared I had to go to the Helpdesk area and talk to Apple first (by then she became back up batch already). I went in to find Gilbert and CJ, both from Team Wowee. We were all thinking of were there because we're getting fired. Hahaha~ Funny, but really, the entire time we were waiting we kept on thinking who's getting fired first. Then Peaches made the announcement. We'd be the next set of Helpdesk agents under Ms. Carme. Yehey~! No more irate callers for a month. (before the helpdesk team was a rotational position, everyone get replaced every month).

My time with helpdesk was the best days as I'd always say. Petiks. Plus I've got 4 really great people with me daily. There's Gilbert and CJ, there's Rose who was our Batch Lead then and Ms. Carme. We were a small little party of happy campers. Gilbert became such a great friend then. I remember an instance when I'm walking along EDSA. As I was supposed to cross Quezon Ave (I was heading to Mc Ds) an owner type jeep with a very old ugly man inside stopped in front of me. He was asking me to come with him. Darn! He was trying to pick me up! I ran to Mc Ds and I called Gilbert as I was crying inside. Glenn was late and won't answer his phone. Gibo offered to get me. I did tell him I just needed to talk to someone since I'm sure Glenn's on his way now. Ohhh, sweet, sweet Gibo.

After a month, Ms. Carme decided to extend our stay in Helpdesk since we're doing a great job. We we're ecstatic of of course. By this time, they moved us to the area in front of Addison's Office since the account was growing steadily. And when the account is growing it means one thing, promotion time. They opened 6 slots for the TL position and 1 for QC. Of course I applied together with Rose. Gibo and CJ applied for the QC post. I was the last person to be interviewed. After my interview with Erwin, he went directly to Ms. Carme and congratulated her personally because I aced the interview. Everyone thought I was a shoo in. CJ got hired as the new QC and Rose as one of the TLs. Carme made the announcement that Gibo would be the next batch lead (sorta a consolation because he's the only one who was not promoted). We were wrong. I was dropped out of the list.

I was left out, not Gibo, as we first thought. They brought in the new people to replace CJ, who's now a QC and Gibo who's now the official Batch Lead. Jane and Jorge were brought in. We were a happy lot still. Carme, Gibo, me, Jane and Jorge. Rose would always come by, CJ is just a few seats away, Glenn would always be around during breaks. Later on when we can no longer handle the number of helpdesk calls because of the steady climb in the number of agents, they brought Orange in. Gibo got promoted as QC (I applied for it but they told me Gibo has more experience) and I was brought in as Batch Lead since I'm the only senior helpdesk left. Darlene took over when I got transferred.

By this time I've been off the phone for 4 months. Peaches asked Carme to take another Batch Lead instead of me. She wants me back on the floor. Carme explained that there's no one there more prefect for the job. I know everything and I've been there for months. It's better to keep me than train a new one. I stayed.

For the next four months I made manager call backs to irate customers. I worked on the complicated adjustments and basically cleaned up everybody's mess. One mess I couldn't clean up though was my personal life. Glenn broke up with me one day with no reason. Just that. One weekend he asked for some time alone. Which I gave him. During the weekdays we're a normal couple. But for 3 weekends we acted as if we didn't know each other. He'd disappear. On the fourth weekend I asked him if he was avoiding me...By the end of the conversation I turned my back on him and left.

Months went by and no one suspected a thing. I thought we were still trying to work things out. Kait gave birth to Kyan around this time. And though I honestly want to be there for her, I was emotionally distraught and I thought she doesn't need her crying, wailing and heartbroken bestfriend.

My October, people started to ask questions. Maybe because he just stopped coming over. Or maybe because I started to eat with Jane and Rose instead of wait for him every lunch. And I'd head home alone. Work by then was just a distant memory. But that was the time when I bonded more closely to everyone. Carme, Rose, Jane and Darlene became my support group. Blar would always drop by just to give me a hug. Jaypee would spend hours with me just talking. And Gilbert would always lend his shoulder when in the middle of the night all I want was cry.

When November came, news about the account closing up became prevalent. A new technical account is to be launched soon and they started to migrate qualified agents. I begged Carme to let me take the exam since I'm confident I'd ace it. I'm the most technical girl I know back then (well, Jane can't definitely know what I know about computers! Hahaha). Carme emailed HR and Christian dropped by the following week to tell me and Carme that I've been scheduled to take the exam and the list has been forwarded to Peaches. When the list came out, my name was not there. Glenn on the other hand passed and would start training as Batch 1 of L1 agents.

Ladit from P*yups sent me a message asking about the openings we have for the new account. I referred her and she got in. She was with Glenn on class Americano. Gladys is now a Manager for one of our accounts.

By then everyone was panicking. Sales got shut down and agents were furloughed. Customer Care would cease operations by end of the year and agents are being terminated left and right with whatever offense could be hurled at them. I was in panic. My life's in a mess and I can't afford to lose my job.

An opening for Workforce was posted. Carme asked everyone in the team to apply. Everyone did. Before the month ended, a week before the launch of the tech support account I was hired as an RTA. And my life took a 180 degrees turn.

First and Last

I rendered my last day as an employee at RMH last night. Would you believe that until the last half hour I was 'moving colors' still? That I was still trying to make something out of the short time given to me to come up with a viable enough study. I don't think I was able to deliver. How can I? I was given 2 weeks to work on the schedules, train 2 replacements and develop an entirely new scheduling algorithm, program it and make a study. I got the first two done and I went as far as being able to program the 96 new combination of working patterns and rest days. Only thing I was not able to finish was the study. I tried. Really. I did. I don't think anyone could be as idealistic as I am and even attempt to complete something as radical as that on his last 2 weeks at work. I tried.

And obviously I'm disappointed at myself. Hahaha~ See, I can't just let it go. I'm so used to being able to deliver that I feel bad for not being able to this time around. That's the bad side of being a good person really.

So there, I spent my last day working AND saying my good byes. Sad.

I didn't have time to dwell on that sadness though since I had to attend my Orientation for IBM. I'm not gonna go into the details of my day though. I don't think it merits time. Hahaha~ But I've 2 things to say after going through that. One is that I'm so freaking tired and I've been up and running for more than 20 hours straight now and two, it feels like High School again when I stepped into that auditorium. If you know me, you'd know what I mean.

I'm tired and sleepy and hungry. I can't stop thinking of the day I would retire. That would be a blessing. Honestly, I don't know for how long I can continue to live like this. Fast, fast, fast.

So fast that I'm getting stressed. And when I'm stressed, my body comes up with radical means to show the emotional and psychological pressure and translate it into something physical. Sometimes with cluster headaches or migraine attacks, there are times with skin asthma...and like now, stomatitis. It's an infection that usually comes up when I'm stressed because my body can't fight the bacteria that's in the air anymore. And since my lips are often dry and are easily chaffed, I get small wounds which in the end gets infected. I need tons of vitamin C. I've also asked my mom to buy me the trimycin ointment that my old derma prescribed.

Now, I rest. I'm done ranting. Hehehe~ Yun lang gusto ko e. Mag-rant.

I've Got Sticky Palms

<> .. says:
e sabi ko sa kanya basta pag nabuntis ako. ang tawag pa rin naman sa kanya ng anak ko e tito. natigilan...

hanne says:
hmmm...

<> .. says:
bakit naman ganyan ang reaction mo?

hanne says:
hinde ko sure kung anong mangyayari sa buhay ko..ang mga anak ninyo salasalabat ang mga magulang. parang isang malaking web of westions ang aking friendships here. pagdating sa anakan and kanaan...

Shutter Happy

Went around the floor taking pictures of everybody. Saying goodbye can be fun.

Abandoned

To be honest, I always thought that the day I'd leave my current company would be the day that I'd "abandon" my team. It seems like though, there's no one left to abandon at this point. Almost everyone has already left.

Nep went off ahead of boss, then BJ and Joey got promoted. Pao left after that. Then Noreen and I. Mike is about to leave too. Mon is trying to paw his way into Ops and if not is checking other companies. Jane is thinking of leaving. Now, except for Orange and the newbies, I've no one. So I guess, I'm not abandoning anyone afterall.

Kawawa naman ang NCO.

Leaving Soon

I have to admit, I never thought leaving something would be this hard. It's like getting your heart broken for every single goodbye and every last hug you get from everyone around.

Working for the same company for three years may not sound much to people, but if you we're the first few who came in and you got to welcome everyone else, it's heartbreaking to actually receive goodbyes from everyone you've smiled at the moment they walked in.

Archie ain't making it any easier, so does Joe. And yes, Chico. The team is less unaffected as a matter of fact.

No matter, it's hard, and that's all there is to it at the moment.

Something's Wrong

I'm not sure since I can't seem to put my fingers on it, but something is definitely wrong.

She's out again. Tsk, tsk. She's claiming we don't have the capabilities to do something when we do. She asks people in the team not to be late or absent when she's always both.

Something's wrong. Hinde pa ba obvious?

Almost Over

I can't wait until it's over. I just want out. Really. I can handle almost anything except her. I was able to handle all the sleepless nights, the 18 hour long shifts, the absence of breaks, the insanity coupled with work, the gruesome cleaning of everybody's shit, being underpaid and so much more...but I am not willing to be pushed around by someone who's a bloody lying moron!

Random

There are times when I try hard to keep up with my own pace and end up lost. I've been running around on tip speed and it's too much effort just for anyone to keep up even for myself. Once in a standstill though I see a blurry of movements and I itch to go. Why can't I just be in sync with the rest of the world? Why am I always buzzing away or on a standstill?

***

I met up with the p*yups peeps yesterday. It was fun. Really. I almost forgot how nice it is to laugh. And smile and just be among people who are so different in so many ways yet still the same as everyone else. Simply put, I miss having my life back.

***

From zero I am now a hot commodity. Well, not really. In my dreams dude, in my dreams. Then again, having too many options makes everything the harder. Just like when you're left inside this really fantastic shoe store and all the strappy stilettos are staring back at you...ugh, you just gotta have all. That's how I'm feeling now. Options are now on the table, now I make a decision.

Superhuman Me

So I told myself I'd never ever go to work without sleep. Here I am...home. Nice.

Well, I didn't get any snooze time this afternoon since my darn phone won't stop ringing. First IBM called, they had me scheduled tonight for another interview with the operations director. Then just before I could sleep, Siemens called and I'b be headin there tomorrow morning for an interview. After that another center called asking me if I want to be an agent. Wek. I said I'm not interested. Sad but it seems sleep became uninterested as well. By 7pm I was pulling myself off of the bed so I could head to IBM.

Geez.

I waited for more than an hour before I got interviewed. Guess what, the entire interview itself lasted a mere 5 minutes againts the 70 minutes of waiting. Asteeeeeeg~

Am tired na. That's why I went home. Plus the new manager is still missing. She said she'd be back from her leave by January 2nd but she never showed up yesterday.

Goodluck with me. Tomorrow I got another round of interviews. Me sleep now.

Train Ride

I rode the train! MRT pare. From Quezon Avenue station to Shaw station. Joey had to give me step by step instructions as to where to go and head and turn. Hernan was listening intently as if praying that by some divine intervention I don't get lost and I was laughing at loud inside. "A train ride?!"

Last time I got on a train was when Hernan and I went to visit Rei after giving birth to KD, that was back in Feb-Mar. And I was separated from Hernan pa. Wahahaha~ You should have seen our expression, "oh no, mahihiwalay si Hanne, baka patayin ako ni Rei pag nawala ko siya!" Mwahahaha~

On my way back, boss was nice enough to show me the way, unfortunately the bridge that would supposedly bring me to the "boarding area" (ok I don't know what it's called) was already closed. I went back, retraced my steps and took the "other" stairs. I had to stand the entire ride since the train was full. When I got to Quezon Ave station again I went down when I shoudl've gone up so I could've crossed EDSA without effort. But since I forgot that, I walked to the intersection and crossed the street (yebah, nakatawid ako ng EDSA!) and by the time I got to 7-11 I was sooooooo freakin tired I decided to take a cab to work. I paid P35. Nice.

Now I'm hungry.

But I kinda liked the train ride at night. Nice view from the top.

I Sense

A woman's intuition is never wrong.

Really?! Since when? What makes you so sure then?

One of my team mate at work started huffing and puffing the moment she found a "suspicious" forwarded text message on her hubby's phone sent by another girl from work. She wanted me to ask one of my other friends who's in the same department as his hubby and the "other" girl to lend me her phone so we could snoop and see if she got the same forwarded message. Their line of thinking goes like, if "other" girl just randomly forwarded a message to her hubby then she would've sent the same message to her other team mates and thus my friend should have a copy of that same message on her phone.

Hell no! One, I'm not gonna snoop around my friend's phone because I just don't. Two, I won't be used by another paranoid girl.

I asked her what made her think it was not just a forward and that it means nothing. She said, "they're not even close so why would she send him messages?" I then asked what made her think they're not close at which she replied, "I'm sure." And I just can't help myself from lashing the last line, "What made you so sure?"

At that she stopped. Only for a second. She then ranted that she's sure they're not close and since his hubby is just new in her team that they're not even friends. With that I said my parting words, "Yun naman pala e. Sure ka. So why are you bothered? Bakit ka react ng react."

That was it. End of conversation for the me.

I then realized that I'm very much aware of what she's going through. I've been there before. Anxiously waiting to pounce at the next girl who'd try to take hold of my man. Always spying on my partner's every move. Praning to the maximum level. Believe me, it was not healthy. In the end, I lost him to another girl still.

I finally learned my lesson and I was totally "secure" with myself when the next guy came. I was playing it cool. If he's busy, then he's busy. If someone calls him then let him get on with the conversation. If he's supposed to meet someone else, let him. Hmm, I was suspicious several times but I told myself, if he's cheating then let him continue because that way there's a bigger chance I'd catch him. Well, he WAS cheating and I DID catch him.

So maybe I haven't learned my lesson entirely. Point is, next time around, I know for a fact that being praning like my friend won't help and being too lenient would just be plain dumb.

Now why do I have a feeling I'd never be in another relationship after admitting that? Haha~