Let's Start With A-B-C

29 minutes before midnight, according to my PC. And I'm taking my rest. I'm done cleaning everything. Well, my closet at least. You know what? I discovered that I own more than I need when it comes to accessories and colognes. Check my year-end inventory.

I never thought I have that much colognes/perfume. I'm never the type who'd spray herself silly anyway. And look at my belts. I don't even wear belts. I don't need to. Hahahaha~ But I got several of 'em also. Now, let's not try to discuss my earrings, bracelets, anklets and necklaces. It would take us forever. Let's just say that what you see there were mainly acquired within the past year alone and that my gold/silver accessories and watches aren't even included in the deal you're seeing. Can you just imagine how my closet looks like? Chaos! But I cleaned 'em well this time...

15 minutes before midnight!

Countdown...3, 2, 1

It's officially 8:21 PM MNL, according to my ever running PC. It's getting rather noisy outside. I've no plans of headin out, I'm just way scared. Been moving tirelessly around my room for the past few hours trying to find things to do while the rest of the world is so intent in creating much smoke and pollution.

After chatting with Randell and airing my PMS-ing antics, I decided to clean up my side of the room. You see, my sister's been on vacation from school for the past week and she did nothing but stare into nothingness, sleep and text, after a while she got tired of it and tackled her side of the room with a vengeance. Hope she can do the same with her subjects but that's a different thing altogether.

Hmmm, while rummaging through the countless things atop the unoccupied bunk bed and the things under my closet I found a lot of unaccountable wonders...Let's do the countdown to midnight, Hanne-style.

Can someone tell me how many footwear I got? I forgot I even have those Adidas! I've a pair of black stilts, a pair of red stilts, a pair of brown/bronze stilts, a pair ofwhite stilts, a pair of beaded tongs and those that are not included in the pictures...Well, I have a blue kickers slip on, a red "bakya" from just G., a brown high cut boots and my oh-so-natural-abaca-slash-banig tongs. Not including the boots, the kickers sandals and the adidas, all the other things I just bought this 2005. Kewl! Now I know where my money went...

Now if you that was all I found other than the usual dusts lying around waiting to be swept, well, you're wrong of course!


I also discovered that I have enough bags to use for an entire month and I'd only have to use 2 bags twice. Everything else can be used once. Nice...I have 9 dressy bags, most are from Girbaud and Nine West. I also learned that I have more red bags than black ones. But those are just the "dressy" ones that I use for parties and of course work. I also have my casual bags. Those that I use when I'm travelling or shopping or just headin someplace unimportant (my old jansport bag that's good for the outdoors since it's rubber soled, my green beach bag and some other sling backs and mailman bags that I can easily slip onto myself.)

After that, I honestly thought I was through. Well, I just learned that I'm actually using 3 different wallets depending on my mood. The only one I actually bought is my brown leather one, the pink one was a gift from Grace last Christmas and the printed pink funk was a gift from Iska. It's so nice to be girl. So...so...soooooo exciting.

Now, I'm already planning my next purchase, I'm thinking of re-doing my image. Back to college theme maybe? Why not...I'd definitely buy new shoes this year...I just broke the heels of my fave brown stilts while running around the streets of Greenbelt, don't ask me why i was running though! Ugh! And I wanna get new black sandals since the other black beaded one that I have just said bye-bye to me yesterday while I was at work. Ouch! I ahd to throw it away and buy something that I can use. That's why I bought the white beaded slip ons. I have to get home y'know! Anyway...I'm done with my countdown...I'd have to ransack my closet next...I'd give you an update on my accessories next time. I'm sure no one's interested. But still.

Lalala~ Can I?

How to tell a guy its OVER



Dear ________,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut.

I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavours, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition.

Tick those that apply...

___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!

___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

___Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO much time on your hands!

___Your legs are skinnier than mine.

___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.

__I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

__The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

___You still live with your parents.

__Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Alien uniforms a little disconcerting.

___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long-term partner.

___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.

___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.



Sincerely,

Ms. _________

Pffft!

Every year, same thing. Same mindset, same feelings, same thoughts...Almost the same game plan.

This year would be a great year!

A personal mantra taken to the next level. I used to tell myself every morning that I'm perfect and that my life is perfect. Now, for the 2nd year, I'm gonna chant that one (points up***) the entire night in my head. So far so good! The year's been good. Somewhat.

A Morning Of Memories

I cleaned some of my stuff when I got home this morning. Sorted through years worth of letters, notes, notices etc. Can't help but remember how I would avidly write everyone before. Everyday, a new note, a new letter...and I see myf riends daily. Kids! Hahaha! I wanna be one again. I wanna find someone I can write letters to. I wanna find someone I can send short notes to. Sweet nothings of love and friendship, of promises and dreams, of crushes and naughty thoughts. Ahhhhh~

Had dinner last night with the guys (Randell, Mikey and Ryan) at CPK Morato. Shucks! Had fun but we found some creepy crawly things on out pasta. Ewwww~ Then we transferred to Bucky's. Kwentuhan to the maximum level!

Then, just a few minutes backI finished watching Patch Adams over HBO. Cried a great deal. Hell, that feels good. Frustration when unreleased has a way of getting to my nerves...Ugh~

Can You Spell T-I-R-E-D?

I've been busy. Really busy this past week. My new post is taking its toll on my patience...Almost.

New Year

I've been wanting to do this for a long while now. I dunno if I'm gonna get the balls I need to finally put my plan into action.

Anyone here wanna spend New Year's Eve with me? I'm planning on staying at one of the hotels around Ortigas (Makati hotels are fully booked). I just wanna pamper myself that's all.

Wish

All I Want For Christmas Is You

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas
Is you...

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...

You baby
I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You...

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby tome...
Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You...

All I want for Christmas is you baby...[Repeat]

I Just Don't

I know of several people who would stare at me with awe whenever I tell em that I don't hear mass. Pao and Joey thought I was just playing a bad joke on 'em several weeks back. In the spirit of the holidays lemme explain.

I was brought up a Catholic. I was baptized in a Catholic church. I went to a Catholic school. I went to mass, heard simbang-gabi, attended the salubong and the various celebrations that the Catholic community has. I played an angel in the salubong, I was part of the choir, I used to pray the novena every wednesday and I used to be an avid fan of the rosary.

Then I grew up.

A lot of people might blame UP for this, believe me, the school nor anyone in it made me believe otherwise. I guess, I just realized a lot of superficiality in the traditions that I used to hold so dear. I lost my faith in the people who are supposedly leading the flock. And I lost my belief that organized religion is the way to go.

I've nothing againts religion, I still abide the basic laws. I still pray (or as I would like to call it, communicate with the Force), I can stillr ecite parts of the Latin prayers, and I still believe in the Holy Spirit. I guess, everything that I used to believe in just took a different face as I grew older.

Am I a bad person now? Am I hurting anyone by staying at inside my room, surfing the internet and blogging when the rest of the country is attending the Christmas Eve mass, exchanging gifts and having their Noche Buena? I don't think so. I'm greeting people online. I'm texting people. And I'm truly praying for their happiness for the days to come. Does that make me a bad person? You tell me. I don't think I am.

The Newness Of You

It's just different, everything is just different. Change is something that I love to happen, even when it scares me to death. It's not just you. It's not just me. It's everything. My work, my family, my friends, even the way the wind is blowing seems to be a lot different. Lemme smile for now. I have a feeling this won't last as much as I'd like it to...Better take it all in now than be forever sorry.

Thank You

I've met so many people in my life, they come and go. Just like that, connections are made and relationships are broken.

All those times I can't help but crave for someone who'd stay behind. Who'd give me the assurance that he'd stay behind. With me. For as long as it takes. Everyday I pray for that person. I would always reason with fate, just one person, that's all I'm asking. Just one.

Possibilities would parade themselves in front of me. None convincing enough. Maybe it was not for show, but just because it's not. Period. Maybe no one was supposed to stay with me that long. Maybe I was asking for the wrong thing, maybe I'm praying for the wrong person. And then you came along. And I thought, maybe, just maybe, it could be you.

Worst that could happen now is that I'd find out, just like before, that it was never you. I can take my chances. I WILL take my chances. At the back of my head, I knew, that maybe, just maybe, it could be really you.

Busy Meeh~

Since Thruday night the average time I spent sleeping dwindled to a mere 3.5 hours. Wonderful. I almost forgot how it's like. Almost, and now it's haunting me back. Everything's great though.

I got to spend time with everyone. My arki friends, the ones that I still get to see anyway. My peyups friends. And my RMH family. Wonderfully exhausting, but wonderful nevertheless.

I shelled more than I expected with my party. I was overbudget by a few thousand...then again, seeing the people around me smiling was enough payment. Let me worry about my credit bill next month.

Also...Been I have a really nice feeling about some things that are happening to me now...Maybe I do have the right combination of luck and willpower. Maybe, just maybe, I was right all along. If not, then I'm back to where I began, which is not bad to start with. Again, wonderful.

My Night At McDonalds

Why Should I Care?

Lately, I felt like the world's been spinning slowly out of control. I woke up one day and I thought I better do something about MY life, I don't want to be consumed by the thought of immortality...simply because I am NOT immortal.

One blink and I found myself years older than what I actually believe myself to be. It's true, sometimes you'd feel quite younger than your real age. I still feel like I'm in college. Quite opposite of what I was when I was REALLY in college. I have to mend my ways, or at least be a bit more discerning. I don't want to take another blink and realize that I've wasted years of my life in things that will never serve me any purpose in the future. I can't take chances. I've lost too much in such a short time already.

Hmmm...just when someone was finally able to teach me to let go. Just when I'm about to lose my grip, I decide to hold onto everything that I thought was sane and right. I think I need him back, just to set my mind straight. Yeah, I do.

Never Been Excited

Weird, but I've never been this excited in such a long time. Maybe the thought that everyone would show up for me makes me all giddy with importance...Hahaha~ Vain. Really, I'm excited. Can't wait for my party...Hope everyone's as excited as I am...And I'm wishing that everyone would enjoy themselves immensely come that day. After all, I'm having a party so the people I love can enjoy that day with me...

Ohhh, Christmas is almost here...Someone, I need a hug.

It's My Party

You are all invited to my McDonald's Kiddie Party this Sunday, December 18th, at McDonald's Quezon Avenue, 8PM onwards. Please text me so I'd know...Hahaha~ And there's a theme by the way...Disney Princess. You can come in full costume if you'd like...

I've No Right

It took me this long to write a proper farewell to him because I never felt that I have any right to tell anyone just how wonderful a person he's been to all since I've only been blessed to catch glimpses of him while we went through our daily routines.

Lemme just tell you of my fondest memory of him. There was this one time when I felt that I just don't belong. I was new. A sophomore and a newbie within the group. Everyone's excited and howling with every gift that's being exchanged that particular Christmas party. Almost everyone's getting a gift from their "unknowing" Santa, which everyone knew was "luto" naman...I've no "love team" then. No one in the org is interested in me. I was thinking, I was probably handed on to someone who's an outcast in the org. Hahaha~ Pitying myself during Christmas....Then he stood at the middle of the floor and handed me his gift. Everyone started to chant "kiss, kiss!" over and over...He gave me a peck. It wasn't all bad at all. You could say, I felt honored that I got him as my Santa. Sikat ako~

I've never had any trouble saying hi to him. Most of the time I've been having hesitation with other people because several times na-deadma na ako...But NEVER with him. Not once. Not once.

Here's a toast to one of my most favorite soul at arki.

His Story

I got this from Pat's Blog. He can write...*looks at the sky* Hallelujah~

Scrubbing Leads...

here i am again...blogging...i guess this sort of thing grows on ya. well...ANYWAY...

i'm tired. very. i guess there just comes a time wherein people just have to hang their gloves or have their jersey retired...and let things flow. most of the time i like creating a controlled environment. such is one of the goals i have in life...to make sure i control everything. and somehow, life comes up with something, or someone, to totally floor me...

well, yes, YOU have floored me. - you know who you are - and through some weird twist in the weird storybook i live in, you have opened my eyes to a lot of things i have been doing wrong for so long...

you make me want to become better...a better person, a better everything. you've shown me that there is nothing to be gained from negativity, hate, and the like...that beyond the dark clouds that eternally spew rainstorms on our head are the rays of light meant to remind us that tomorrow is potentially a better day.

you make me want to rediscover life. i missed so much by keeping my head boxed together in a certain mentality created by too much idealism. it's one thing to remain ideal, and another to go overboard. i've been going overboard for the longest time because of the fear of getting hurt...as i have been many times before. i've been going overboard for so long that i failed to realize that each time that i DID get hurt, i alway manage to bring myself back up...better, stronger, wiser. ...whole... i have nothing to lose. i have lost nothing. one more time won't kill me.

you make me thankful. thankful for the time spent learning who you are, and what you stand for...thankful because i continue to learn those things. thankful because you made me jump at the chance to put your hand in mine against the tremendous odds that face people who take the chance to love. thank you, for you.

you have taught me so much...more than one can take a pen to paper on, or a finger to a keyboard for that matter. you truly are something special. and yes, i do love you.

so now, to quote a man famous for many things, "excuse me, while i kiss the sky..."

...

...

...au revior.

Scanning Photos

Through all the days of my life, there's no better way to cheer myself up than to scan old photos. Nothing can stir my memory more than the miliseconds of precious time captured within that tiny frame of simple technology. That and the more vivid memories I have in my head.

If asked to choose, I'd rather have the photographs. Tarnished and fake, rather than the real thing that's inside my head. In the photos, everyone is smiling, everyone within the frame, everyone is at his happiest mood. In my mind, I keep the negatives.

No one can see what I see. No one can feel what I feel. And absolutely no one is allowed to know what I really think. Unlike in the photos, you'd never see who's holding the camera, you'd never know what that person is thinking and feeling at that moment, you'd never know who we're left of the frame. I held the camera. I know. You don't. But you know what? I've dreamt long ago of sharing that moment with someone. Another person who'd stand behind the lenses, capturing every single wonderful memory, apart from everyone else...After all, we're out of the frame, him and me.

Negatives.

Comment You Want...

A certain busy stranger asked me to comment on his latest blog entry. I really can't say anything...for I know nothing. He, after all, might be just like me. Someone who wears his heart on his sleeves, for whatever purpose, but whose mind is restricted in that heaven called "someplace else". I don't want to take my chances...again, i know nothing.

But you know what? Though I can never tell what's on your mind, and though I've only the faintest idea on what you're really feeling, I know deep in my soul that you're a good person. It might not seem that way to most people once they've learned about the "image" you've got. I won't parade myself as someone who knows you in and out, cause I'm not that someone, but I can definitely say that you never did anything to make me believe otherwise. After all, everyone's innocent unless proven guilty (beyond unreasonable doubt).

Saturday Night

The last 3 days of this week was a whirlwind of plans and surprises. Thursday night shift until Friday morning, Friday night shift until Saturday morning and Saturday night...they're all good examples of just how hectic my schedules have been.

I had to render an extra hour last Friday morning working on all the schedules. Then had to go to Archie's class to give a talk which lasted another hour. Then went back to hang with partner...Then I asked Randy to drop by just because I really need a good bear hug. Then I saw the rest of the MSN peeps hangin' at Pantoja, by the time Randy was there everyone's ready to make plans. We ended up at Dencio's for lunch until Randy's boss texted him and obliged him to follow the rest of the team to Dencio's Ortigas, in which case he dragged me with him. After spending time with the guys there, we went our separate way and started to shop around...I came home late, tired and exhausted.

Friday night I was asked to render rest day overtime. Ohhh, haven't done THAT in a while. 6 day work week always keeps me on my toes. Good thing Patrick came by that morning to have beakfast with me. At least I had some clean fun after work. Ohhh...

Then I had to wake up earlier than intended because the girls and I were supposed to meet up and shop...Then I was spposed to meet up with Yuri and Germs so we can get our things from Germie...And then I was supposed to go with Dyaln to a friend's wake, BEFORE i head to our company's Christmas party later that night...But guess what...Due to persistent and heavy rainfall...I found myself stuck in traffic for 2 hours. Had to meet my sister who's stranded as well and we walked together to SM North. Had to cancel everything...I was able to reach RMH around 9.30pm...Good thing I had enough fun at the party. Had great time with the girls, albiet canceled schedules.

I'm able to catch with sleep...I've got several new items that I bought from my shopping spree. And i'm smiling because of someone...Ain't it great?

Sniff

Someone I know of had to leave everyone else behind. It's not a bad thing really, when you know for a fact that happiness awaits that person. I on the other hand had to face fact that happiness would be almost impossible for now.

A lot of things are coming my way, sorta pushing me off my intended course. Being the person that I am, being off course is a big scare for me. Knowing that people are changing and that my world is shifting without me being able to control it actually makes me wanna run away and hide. I cannot live a life where I've no control of. That's not me. At all.

I'm also making changes. Physically. Mentally. I'm even shifting emotionally. I've taken a new post. I'm trying to push myself out of my comfort zone. I'd always tell my friends that maybe their happiness lies a step our of their own comfort zone. Maybe mine is just a step away as well. I'm really hesitant. More than anything, I'm afraid to let go of the power that I've somehow earned from my current post. Not that it's important in any way, but I'd have to admit it's quite comforting that no one can touch me, literally and figuratively. But hey, I should practice what I preach after all. I don't want to be one of the people I'd usually call names (like someone "lacking his manly balls" for example)...I am, after all, one ball-sy gurl as my ex would claim. Haha~

This Christmas is flying really fast. It's almost here and I haven't even done my annual shopping. Hmmm, at the rate I'm going, there'll be no gift wrapped present coming from me come Christmas night. Too bad for my friends and family, i am deeply sorry.

I've got a long weekend coming. Friday til Sunday I'm free from work. Now what do I do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. *sniff* sad ain't it?

U.P. ~ The Best

Lesley's latest blog entries actually gave me a hard time breathing, tears are brimming and memories came spilling. I miss U.P. and arki. I miss A-2 99 and I miss AF. Heck, I even miss ALL my professors. Just chatted with Sir Nonoy a few minutes back, reminding me that Ryan and I should work on our "papers" as soon as possible. Can I really leave UP and be in another university? *Cry*

See Lesley's Entry.

Photoshop-ed

Second Round

First Ana, my high school friend whom I ahven't seen for years texted me that she saw my pic on Inquirer yesterday. I thought it was the old paper that she happened to see that moment. Then Randy told me that Polpits texted him and told him that I'm on the paper with Jun. Jun?! The first pic ad that came out, I was with Jane...So they printed the 2nd ad I did after all...Then Kareen from peyups just said she saw me din...I need to bring this up with recruitment, they have to start paying me soon. Harhar~

Smile

My emotions soared a bit higher last night. Last night I saw Randy and Rei...I missed them so. And I felt really nice seeing Rei well on the way with her pregnancy. Wonderful. Had a lot of laughs. I needed just that.

Until now I can't get over the fact that we all get together real well...Last night when we came by Dencio's to check the other RTAs, Randy and I were joking that we're a couple and would have to leave soon for our date. Then he said we need to meet up with another friend so our threesome would be completed. Orange asked if this particular "friend" happens to be a girl. I said not really, that she's a pregnant lesbian. Haha~ A miss good-two-shoes, a bisexual and an ex-drug/sex addict. WTF~ Yeah, we're friends. And we get to stand each other real well.

Also, if plans push through, I'd be spending my long weekend at Galera...AGAIN. Hmm, that's a very, very pleasant thought. If not, then there's always the Christmas party and the rest of guys asking for a dinner get together...

Frown

Had a really bad day. I'm going back to my old ways. No sleep still. Non-stop wandering. Not taking my breaks. Too much caffeine. Too much sweets. Frowning a lot. Yeah, frowning.

I can't help it though, from everything being okay, one by one the things that matter are not okay anymore. See, I can't even express myself with words. Sheesh~

Another Time Maybe

In another time maybe, in another place, another lifetime...another me...Maybe, just maybe, the thing that you're asking of me now may have been possible.

In another time maybe...but definitely not now. NOT NOW.

Stupidity Is Learned

I think such is possible. More than possible actually. Look at me. I'm learning to be better at it every single time. One step closer to being the moron of my kind. Stupidity is not inherited, it can be learned.

Getting There

Weekend. She was not doing anything. He was his busy self. She wants to see him. He's oblivious. She struggles againts her need to be with someone. He struggles to get his next prey. She thinks of only him. His mind flickered a moment to her.

***

*Beep* 1 Message Received

From her to him: WRU? I wanna see you.

30 minutes. No answer. Her mind started to wander off of him.

*Flick*

"Friends" is on cable, re-runs. Good enough for someone who's got nothing to do the entire day, she thought.

*Click-Flip-Click*

Network surfing. Molto Mario. CSI Vegas. Numbers. Commercials. Commercials. MTV.

*Beep* 1 Message Received

From him to her: Hey babe! Miss ya. I'm hanging with friends but I'd like to see you.

From her to him: Sure. What time can we hang?

From him to her: Text me around 7? Mwah~

*Flick* back to watching TV. She sleeps after lunch, anticipating a long night ahead.

*Zzzz*

*Riiiinnnnngggggg* Alarm is on. It's 7.

*Beep*

From her to him: Are we still on?

2 hours. It's 9 now. No reply. She goes back to sleep. She only thinks of him until her last waking moment. He's with friends. She's got her pillows around her. He's got a bottle of beer at hand. She's sleeping soundly. He's laughing like crazy.

***

8 in the morning the next day.

*Beep*

From him to her: Good morning babe.

From her to him: Hmf.

From him to her: Sorry darling, my brakes broke up and I gotta bring the car to the shop this early in the morning.

From her to him: But you could've texted me.

From him to her: Sorry darling. I know. I know. Sorry.

*Flick* Channel surfing. Another day with nothing but him on her mind.

Sigh

I dunno why but it seems that the world is conspiring to keep myself out of trouble. Really, it would seem almost amazing. Of course, I'd have to think quite realistically, after all not every single coincidence could be considered a miracle.

Last week I was totally pissed off with this particular person. I was afraid I'd ruin everything if I'd let it out. After all, I myself thought that I'm over all the issues that I've had with him. Good thing, all of a sudden, the trip to Galera pushed through and I suddenly found myself miles and miles away from him. Not having seen him for days, my anger gradually went away. By itself.

Sunday, I was planning to get a particular malicious plan into action. Before I was able to do just that I found my unknowing accomplice missing and the weather getting a bit out of hand. I decided to stall and sleep instead. The next morning, I realized what a stupid idea that was anyway. Something that I'd end up regretting if I was able to do it.

Yesterday morning, just before I went to bed I was supposed to leave an offline message to someone, just when I was about to type the first letter...when my fingers were on mid-air...a centimeter away from the keyboard....the computer died. *zionk* and it was dead. No power. At all.

I was more than relieved when that happened. After all, the message that I was supposed to leave is one of the gravest string of words I'd ever have to mutter in my entire life. Could've been one of the things I'd regret forever. And I'm more than glad that the power failed for a second or two, just enough to kill my computer.

I'd have to admit though that the moment the screen went blank, the only thing that went through my head was...."Bakit ako? Anong galit sa akin ng mundo?" Now I know, fate was saving me from myself. Anyway, I'd like to think of it that way.