I Love You, Bitch~!

We're a weird group when you see us. It was fairly okay seeing me with May, BJ, Randy, Iska and Rei before. But seeing me with Hernan and Penny...a motley crew. It just seems like we don't belong in the same group - at all.

One thing though that bonded us is our senseless abandon for honesty. If you wanna hear it as it is then we're the friends you need. We never sugarcoat our words just because we don't want to hurt our friend's feelings. We're actually here to hurt each other so badly s/he won't be able to recover. Nah, just a joke

Really though, they were my buddies who were honest enough to tell me what no one is brave enough to tell me...and that includes my various "mistakes" on men, career and even my weight.

We can joke about our weaknesses and we can laugh at each other's misery. We're mean bitches but we're loving it.

Hernan to Hanne: When are you gonna learn? You're letting your crotch do the thinking.
Hanne to Hernan: You're the biggest parasite there is. Look at your tummy!
Penny to Hernan: You're a flirt. He's not even cute.
Penny to Hanne: Go play with him if that would make you happy.
Hanne to Penny: So we go to Clark, you go gerger and I have kopi with *zipit*?
Hernan to Penny: Like why should I go with your skinny ass?
Hanne to Hernan: Don't be such a prude! Go get laid.

One day at Starbucks:
Penny: Hanne, you buy us something to eat.
Hanne: What?
Penny: That sausage thingy be ok.
Hanne: Ok. *buys and pays for the sausage roll*
Hernan: Can you please cut the rolls?
Hanne: *takes fork and knife and cuts rolls into pieces*
Penny: Can you make it smaller?
Hanne: *cuts roll into smaller pieces*
Penny: No. No. You're cutting it the wrong way...
Hanne: *grrrr*
Penny and Hernan:

***Kase ayaw pang manlibre ni Hernan!!! Penny, boycott natin to. Let's not feed him anymore.

4 AM

I got home at 4AM.

After 2 months of planning we finally got to see each other again. The guys were there, Randell (of course with Agnes), Ryan and Mikey. I miss Janrey. And Sir Nonoy bailed out a few minutes before our "meeting time" and said he's got an emergency.

Dinner was at Napoli's (of course ako nasunod!). It was just me, Mikey and a late Ryan since Randell and Agnes said they're still finishing some plates and would eventually follow. We honestly thought they'd be a no show and decided on catching a movie after dinner. Two hours of non stop eating and kwentuhan we shuffled out of the resto when Randell and Agnes called up to say they're on their way. We waited for them and decided to just have our usual coffee after dinner rather than get a movie. After all, the point of meeting up regularly is to play catch up. Conversations are always hearty with coffee. Hahaha~

We went to ABSCBN since we figured it'll be harder to find a good parking spot at Morato and we all thought it'll be best to just head to the nearest coffee shop than to transfer again.

The baristas of course won't let me off the hook for leaving them. They miss me. Hahaha~ Well, I miss them too.

Once settled on our own comfy couches, we started to dissect Ryan relationship and his effort in breaking up with his current girl. Well, the talked suddenly got diverted to his new PS3 and how it's taking his time, and how jealous the gf seems to be. With guys though, that's not even a contest. PS3 wins. They could always get a new girl! Then I texted Glenn to tell him I'm downstairs with the Arki peeps. He joined us shortly and was at first lost with how we've been forever comparing the pros and cons of having a PS3 againts having a gf. Now, I'm not sure if Ryan could actually make the break-up a reality, but we sure enjoyed the time we spent at Starbucks!

The guys then decided to head to Randell's condo at Katips to check his LAN set-up which is not working properly. We drove to Katips and...well...I can't remember much because I fell asleep on the bed...

I woke up 2 hours later at around 4AM and no one's around. Agnes was asleep beside me, Randell's younger brother was on the bed beside us and Randell was on the cot on the floor snoring like hell. I decided to had off and left them asleep. I just a left a message that I went ahead.

When I texted Glenn and Penny and told them that I'm gonna head home, they both said to stay put and sleep it off. Too late, I was walking along Katipunan looking for a cab already. It was scary, I'd have to admit. I could've been mugged, raped or kidnapped and killed and no one would see me. I'm just way too hardheaded I guess.

Why do I do it? I was thinking about the answer to that the entire ride home.

Maybe because I want to prove the fact that I can take care of myself. Or that I can do whatever I want and no one can stop me. Or that I really can be alone and be alright.

Or maybe, I just like to cap off a nice evening with a little solitude. I love long rides at night.

***Note to Glenn: Sige na, payag ka na sa car, bilhin ko, 5 years to pay...sige na nga, 12 months to pay. I love long drives at night.

Happy Hormones Overload

I finally decided to go get my company ID. So after my 3 hour gym session yesterday with Glenn I texted Paul to ask if I could come in an hour later so I could head out a bit later since the PBCom office would open at 8am.

It was fun waking up later than usual, as always. Went to work as I'd normally do but realized I don't like the last few trips on MRT, it's much too crowded. Also, I arrived 30 minutes earlier than expected, so there's no point in adjusting my schedule really. I was a bit panicky at the start of the shift and I dunno why. I was not sure if the butterflies inside my tummy was because of work or if I'm coming up with something. So I dragged myself to Starbucks which is like ten thousand miles away. I went back feeling more sick. Hahaha~


Then Arjae texted and asked if I could meet him up again. I was more than happy to oblige, after all, I don't have Penny or Hernani to have dinner with. He picked me up a little after midnight. I actually was waiting for Timmy to reply, I sent him a message an hour or so before to tell him Arjae's coming by again and maybe he can join us. I didn't get any reply so I went ahead alone. He just drove around and parked at McDo/Shell near Emerald (?). I wanted to tell him to keep on moving but I decided I'd never see Pat there at that hour anyway so I guess the coast is clear for the ghost of my christmas past. Wekwek. I was wrong though. Arjae apparently brought our old gradeschool photos. Class photos. And y'know what? I was haunted by the image that I saw. I was hideous. Wahahaha~ So we had dinner, well, he did, since my tummy was still not feeling nice then and dropped me back at work.

When I got back I have gazillions of messages waiting for me. One was from Timmy who replied 2 hours late. I got a message from Randell and Dylan. Then I had a short chat with PaoG and Orange. Work was almost non-existent inside my head. It was just swimming around. Must be because I slept way past my bedtime yesterday because of gym and I had to spend an extra hour browsing through artbeads.com to order my charms.

I swear, one of these days Kait and I would get into something really expensive and we'd both end up ordering whatever online, pay via credit and ship 'em across the Pacific. Ohhh~ Hope we could afford that. I'd go order that half a million watch from Technomarine encrusted with real diamonds. I swear!

By 5.30am I was itching to leave work. Penny texted me and said they're (and Hernani) at Bux having kopi. I got so green with envy that I snatched my bag and almost ran towards MRT. Thank you MRT, we're bestfriends now! I spent an hour there but it did me more good than one could imagine. I was just happy to be back in my element. Something I haven't felt for quite sometime.

After that interlude I took a cab and raced towards Makati. I was actually late. The traffic was too much, there were 4 other people who were in queue for the ID booth and by the time I arrived at my meeting place with Kait, I was 30 minutes late already. Though I don't want her to be late from her meeting with her mom afterwards I decided that we'd have more time and privacy to play catch up if we take the cab rather than the LRT. And so we did. You could say that EDSA is just not long enough for that ride. Bitin e. Hehehe~ Hope we could head out soon again. Though we talk on chat daily naman, it's different pa rin when you get to spend time together and talk face to face and do things together...like normal bestfriends? Hahaha~ Well, we're not normal I guess, we're fabulously exceptional! *wink-wink* *nudge-nudge*

3 Years Is A Long Time

*** Part 2

I became an RTA with no clear understanding of what life would be after. I came in the day of the launch, Richard asked me to take a seat behind the CMS and I stayed there for 16 hours straight with no breaks. I didn't even had the time to pee. The following days were a nightmare. No sleep, unending work and long hours. What was I thinking? Hahaha~

One unexpected thing happened though. I met new friends. Huggy became one of my most loved agents there. From the moment he asked for my number claiming we have a common friend named Ronald McDonald to that time when he brought a jarful of M&M with peanuts because I said I don't like Nips and would rather have M&Ms.

The team also became a tight group. Me, Jane, Orange, Pao, Mami Sha and Art. We'd slave for hours and extend unendingly but would always end up with a smile because we were able to find something good to look forward to the following day. Though I was still heartbroken at that time, my days and my nights got so busy I don't have time to remember I was whining over someone. That helped a lot. Really. And the promotion came in the most opportune time.

3 months into production they hired a new RTA. He was to be my partner since I was the only RTA in the afternoon. On my rest days Pao and Mami would have to extend or come in early to cover for me. It was tiring. They told me Boss wanted to hire Carol Silang then. I was not too sure I wanted her. She was way too noisy and boisterous for my silent self. I thought I won't like the shift with her beside me. Good thing Art and Richard convinced boss to take a guy instead. When they told me they hired someone from AT&T I got excited. His name didn't sound familiar though, but his girlfriend's name does.

BJ was brought in a week before Valentines 2005. Then, Pao and I were telling him to be careful because of the RTA curse. Everyone with a long standing relationship tends to end up in splitsville the moment they become RTAs. It happened to me and Pao.

I met him on a Wednesday. Thursday that week he came to me and said he's got the curse. He hugged me like old friends (I was a bit ilang pa cos I'm not too touchy feely with new acquaintances). The following week, something happened and he ended up soaking my shirt with his tears. That was the start of our friendship. An emotionally draining one. BJ became my partner in so many ways. He made work worthwhile and became someone who's constantly there for me. Soon after him, several others followed.

The early days were spent drinking with BJ and Paopao at nineteen20. We'd talk about how hard it is to pick up the pieces after a break up. We became a tight band of broken hearted souls.

One time, BJ was at the yosi area chatting with May. I've known her since AT&T as she'd always talk to Carme during breaks. They talked about BJ's very rocky relationship then and ended up being really good friends. She started to hang out more with us at our station. One day our agent, Randy, told me he'd be out with May and another agent Paolo Joaquin for the night. I said I can't come since I'm gonna meet my High School friends. That got canceled though. At 11PM when I went off the building they literally kidnapped me. They hauled me inside the car and dragged me to Morato!

That became a weekly thing for us until Paolo J. was replaced by BJ and Morato became Tagaytay. With them I learned to drink again, I learned how to pass out elegantly, how to throw up mindlessly in a hotel room in the middle of nowhere, drag myself to the restroom, crawl in the middle of the night with a throbbing head, sing like a diva, dance like Madonna and have fun like it's the last day of my life. I picked up where I left when I suddenly decided to be an adult. I remembered how nice it was to be uncaring and young.

At the same time this was happening I tried to get back with my college barkada. After shift I'd be a regular tambay at their apartment near UP. We'd stay until the wee hours of the morning. We'd work on their thesis, we'd play games (Riders on the Storm was their theme!), horse around and get drunk. I was ecstatic to have them back after my self imposed solitude when I started to work. I started to feel really good about myself again.

My love life also picked up about the same time. After a year and a half of constantly bugging me to go out with him, I finally went out with Patrick. I was, after all, finally single. In the following months, his red hatchback would a staple in front of the ELJ Building every 2AM-4AM. That's when his shift would end at Epix and he'd head to see me afterwards. I'd go tell BJ I'd take a break and he'd let me go. He knows I'm gonna meet some guy downstairs whenever I tell him I'm taking a break. Hahaha~ He knows I don't take breaks.

Life then became a mixture of eclectic sweetness. I have my work, my UP friends, my RMH buddies and Patrick. I'd head to work at 2 in the afternoon, spend the next 9-12 hours with BJ and May, Randy, Rei, Jodi, Angelo and everyone else that matters. After shift I'd head to the apartment, talk like crazy and just have clean fun with Randell, Janrey, Mak etc and head home at 6AM. Sleep until lunch and head back to work. In between I get to see Pat and maybe also head out with the RMH people. It was a fun life. And the months flew by like nothing happened.

It was also a crazy time. Randell and Agnes became an item after we "forced" them to kiss each other one night. Patrick got together with Dianne and I decided to disappear when Cecille came into the picture once more. May started an illicit relationship with an attached guy. BJ got his ex pregnant and slept with Rei who also got pregnant (but BJ denies it's his). May got mad at Rei. Randy and Rei were convinced May's got something for BJ that's more than friendship. Randy kissed me and said he's fallen for me but we decided to let it pass. Huggy resigned. Mon was hired as RTA. Jane and Pao became an item. I had an ongoing spat with Orange...AND ABOUT 10,000 other things happened the best probably was that I finally patched things up with Glenn. I made a promise that he'd always be a friend and finally, I was able to deliver.

By the end of Summer 2005 I was tired.

I saw how it was like. I saw things differently by then. And I was ready to slowdown again.

Things after that was pretty monotonous. BJ and I got transferred as GY RTAs. I'd head home early after work since thesis period was done and no one's hanging around the thesis house anymore. And I met a new set of people from P*yups that Ladit introduced to me. Things were slower with them. Coffee dates. Dinner. Hanging out at Elbow room. Merienda at UP. Isaw afternoons. And the same happened to work. It was not as hectic as before since BJ and I have learned the tricks of the trade. We're like a well oiled machine. We worked so effectively we don't even have to render overtime like the other RTAs. Patrick at this time was a casual thing. Sometimes there, sometimes not. After months of havng to explain to Darvin and Lester (and all the tambays at the yosi area) who owns the red car that speeds by after dropping me off in the middle of the night, it just stopped appearing on our driveway. No more rendezvous in the middle of the night. And no more drunken moments and dreaming stupor to worry about. I was grounded and I was surefooted.

By December that year, they announced that Gerber's leaving the company and they need to hire a new scheduler. The post was offered to me. They said they wanted me to consider before they open the position to the everyone. I was hesitant. Art though talked me into it. Better to be a well rounded workforce personnel he said. I accepted the post and I was able to welcome this new job together with my 24th birthday. I held my birthday at McDonald's and had a kiddie princess party. I thought, I won't be young forever and I could definitely go insane now. The UP guys were there, the p*yups peeps were there, the RTAs, May, Carme, Randy, Hernan and a very pregnant Rei.

Just like with everything that's new I was staggering a lot at first. The only thing that kept me going was my team. By then the workforce team has grown so close we really felt like a family. Though I was happy there, finances became a problem. My aunt stopped supporting my family. With a set of jobless parents and siblings starting college, I felt it was my responsibility to help. I started to look for another job. Unfortuntely, Paul got to it even before I can. I decided not to pursue any of them. I'd rather stay than leave and have someone report to him everything that I've been doing. It doesn't seem right.

As my confidence with my job grew, my life once again turned into a monotonous case. So the moment Patrick knocked on my door, I welcomed him immediately. By then he already left Epix and was hired to start up another center. I became a fixed figure at Eastwood as I'd spend breakfast with the p*yups gang and I'd spend the night with him while waiting for my shift to start. Of course, something happened. And in between the coffee dates that I'd have with Yuri, Abel and Aian I was crying again.

Summer was spent healing myself. I was resolved to get everything back on track. At this point, all I wanted was to go back to the year before. Where summer was all fun and laughter. I want to cruise around the metro without having to worry about anything. But it didn't happen. My group has now disbanded. Rei transferred to Sykes, Randy's with Ambergris, Jodi and Angelo left, May was spending time with iska and Ian more, BJ was with Tinay and Mishka was taking the rest of his time too. Booie stopped showing up. Aian transferred work from Eastwood to Makati. Abel transferred work too. Patrick was giving me all the attention I need. And old friends at RMH left even before I was able to say goodbye.

After summer, Pat and I were able to pick up where we left. And just like before, just when were starting, things got really nasty. Cecille became an ally. Sad part was, though they've been through more than what I had with him, it still hurts that he denied he had anything to do with me. It was hard enough being the "other" woman in everyone's eyes, it's harder when you're denied of even such a horrible title.

At the same time, work became more and more frustrating. The amount of work was not, in any way, equivalent to the perks we're getting. Final blow was when we learned Paul was leaving. We all wanted out.

By this time, Hernan and Penny became an almost permanent fixture in my life. Hernan and I would slowly dissect my disastrous history with men and Penny and I would rant endless about work. Not long after we've formed a tight group who lives on coffee alone. hahaha~ Anything's bearable as long as you have friends to talk to and the right amount of caffeine to induce the happy hormones.

The next few months was a steady fall from then on. One by one I was losing everything. The team was slowly becoming non-existent. The only reason why I decided to hold on was by now an almost indistinct memory. I tried to get by with what I have. I tried to be as effective as I can be with work.

Then my Dad had a heart attack. I never felt more numb. For days I was not feeling anything. The emotions were constrained in my head, but my heart can't feel anything. How would you feel if you had to go through all those things? Daily I woke up feeling like all I want was go back to sleep and forget my sad reality. Work was a mess, school's a mess, my finances' a mess, my personal life's a mess...I was ready to just give up. I didn't know there were more things to come though. And that was the final blow.

I started to lose respect for the people I'm working with. I don't think I'm working for the right team and the right side anymore. I decided it's time to move on. Fate is tempting me and all I have to do is jump. I no longer have the team to worry about, I'm in dire need of an extra income, and my boss is a big bitch. What else is left consider?

Fate helped me recover from the feeling of lost fast. I got 3 offers in no time...and now I'm officially out, starting a new thing which would hopefully be better than I've expected. There would never be another RMH but there would always be another chance for something new.

3 years is a long time. It might not seem much from someone else's perspective, we all know some people stay with other companies their entire life...I guess, for me, 3 years just ain't the number of years and days I spent with a company. 3 years means having to meet a million people and having to say goodbye to almost all of them. 3 years means having to learn to cope up with losing friends and gaining enemies. 3 years means having to go through 2 heartbreaks and thousands of caring smiles. 3 years is a long time really.

3 years is a long time.

3 Years Is A Long Time

***PART 1
This is a very long entry that you really don't need to read.


More than 3 years ago I took a step inside ELJ Building for the first time. All I wanted at that time was to be able to be with Glenn again since my stint in ICT was putting a lot of strain in our almost 2 year relationship. Of course, I never told him that, now you know.

I felt that the pressure then would be somehow relieved if we'd get to spend time together. The fights were just too taxing then. It was affecting my job. And you know that when that happens people would start to ask questions. Being too private, I decided to turn my back from ICT and the friends that I made there. Though Mayne and Darwin tried to convinced me, I knew I had to do this for the relationship. Even when Patrick called me a liar and coward then.

Wearing my shirt and shorts and tsinelas, I went in to pass my resume. Glenn has already passed the screening weeks before. When the girl who took my resume saw I had previous experience, she asked if I want to wait and be interviewed that same day. I said I'm not prepared and I'm not wearing appropriate clothes. She said it's ok and that I could wait inside. I did. It was 10am. I went through 2 interviews, 3 exams and one last panel interview. After 10 hours, at around 8pm, 3 of us were left behind. By that time I was so hungry and tired all I want was head home. Glenn was good enough to wait for me, outside, with no seats while it was raining. You just don't know how I appreciate that as I look back now.

I rendered my 15 day notice at ICT and I gave them the most gregarious lies that I could come up just so they would stop bugging me to stay. When I learned I was to be part of Batch 1 of their Customer Care account, I got excited. We all know what that means in the industry. Plus that means I get to be with my then boyfriend.

First day of orientation and I was late. I thought, it can't happen again. It was raining hard and I just couldn't get a bus at MCU (yes, for a time I was a commuter). By the time I got there everyone was staring at me, a roomful of about 50 people. I don't think they'd remember me now. My wet hair and my mud stained pumps. That P50 divisoria umbrella and my tired face. I was 10 minutes late and all I could hear in my head was, "nakakahiya ka!"

That's where we met Adrian.

We were told that our training schedule would be announced at the upcoming Holloween party at Virgin Cafe and that we're all required to come or else we'd never know the schedule. We met up with Adrian then but Glenn got sick on the way and I had to take him home. Good thing Adrian was able to text us all the details and so the following week, training began.

Back then they were still building out the 6th floor. The only place that resembles a workplace would the the 4th floor training rooms which the DA occupies as their mini production area. So the training of over 12o agents and several managers were done at Tektite. That's where we got together with Class Alpha. Surprise, Glenn, Adrian and I are on the same class. Together with John Garcia, Gina Butawan, Ferdie Francisco, Jaypee Pagdanganan, Mariss Ibay, Chie Gomez, Rose Espinosa and about 20 other people we started training. When the training rooms at the 5th floor got built after a week, we transferred there and they introduced us to Ana Rodriguez, our Puerto Rican Trainer.

I tell you, training was a lot of fun. And until now I still use the word "foncused". Hehehe~

December 2003 was a whirlwind of events. The opening of the 6th floor, the graduation, the launch of the account (I remember Miel took the first ever call for Core LD group then).

By then, my personal relationships weren't doing real well. I wasn't in speaking terms with my Dad and sister. My family is still fighting. My boyfriend hates me for being so darn pushy. It might not seem like it but I was pretty pushy then. I guess all the things that I can't say to my Dad, I took out on him. He was patient though. He was not perfect but he learned to channel his frustration somewhere else and not long after he became the favorite of everyone.

As the days go by, I was starting to see how each person I've befriended is really like. I started to really hate my manager then and even several new friends. It was nothing personal really. It just didn't feel right.

The job was gruesome. 90% of your calls would be from irate callers. We felt so pressured. On one hand this our job and we have to do well, on the other hand we felt like we're working for scammers. It just felt wrong. And when I'm in any kind of stress, my body gives out a signal. By January I've had 2 cases of larycopharyngitis and a case of stomatitis (I didn't even know what this was until then). I was absent for a greater part of that month. I was told I can't be absent again...then I had the stomatitis, I'd go to work and wait for them to send me home so it won't be considered an occurrence. One of the OMs was a registered nurse and Erwin said maybe I could wear a mask so I don't need to cover up my mouth all the time. I had so many sores and wounds then that I can't sleep because my entire mouth was hurting. Nevertheless, I came to work at 2am every night for more than a week. They'd send me home and I'd stay in this empty room beside the pantry (which would later become the Ladies Sleeping Quarters) and wait the night out until I can head home and repeat the entire cycle the following day. By then I've become known as the girl who's got SARS. Well, the mask WAS scary. People looked at me as if I'm contagious.

There was a time when I was so sick, I passed out at the locker area. I forgot my pen and a few minutes before login time, I asked Glenn to come with me to get it. Before I could say anything, I was out. I was brought to St. Luke's. Nothing was wrong with me. I'm just stressed. Ewan! I now became the girl who collapsed. Darn!

By then, Peaches, who was my OM asked my Manager to terminate me on grounds of my absenteeism. With this, I countered. I made a letter and pointed that according to the employee handbook, any consecutive absences with a valid medical certificate would only merit one occurrence. Thus I've only 3 occurrences. They let me stay. Erwin talked to me and asked me not to be absent until regularization day. I gave him a promise. That was January 28th and regularization day would be March 22nd.

I came to work as usual. Never late nor absent. There was a time though that I had to take some time off because my lips were healing but sometimes the scabs would crack and my lips would bleed like crazy. There were times when I'm on a call and Apple, my seat mate would just pass me a wad of tissue. That means my lips are bleeding again. That went on for 2 weeks, but I eventually got better.

By first week of March, I was doing really well. My CSAT was always perfect. My adjustments were always perfect. My AHT was 13minutes and that's the only thing that sucked (it's supposed to be 7.5 minutes).

I became the team's golden girl, not because I was a seller (that goes to Anto and Daddy Ricky) but because they can ask me any question about the product, any process, any adjustment code and I'd be able to answer you in no time. The downside about this was the fact that absolutely no one wants to take my sup calls. Point is, if I can't figure it out, then they're useless. I'd call helpdesk and even John Garcia would curse when he gets me because he can't seem to answer my questions. There was a time I was on a call for 2 hours and all the man wants was a supervisor. I've begged Anjo (my TL), Chie (another TL) and Beni (my TM) but none would take my call. Glenn was a TL then already. Though I hated the fact that I'm asking his help (there's always been healthy competition between us, even now...we're very competitive e hahaha) I went to his station and cried just so he'd take the sup call. Sissy ko noh?

There was also a time when Glenn was out, it was Valentine's and he had to bring his mom to the airport, and this super irate customer just won't stop cussing me. My TM was listening to my call and gave me the signal to drop it. The moment the line was cut, I started to cry. That account was soooooooo stressful, believe me.

One day Peaches called me into her office. I was so darn scared I had to go to the Helpdesk area and talk to Apple first (by then she became back up batch already). I went in to find Gilbert and CJ, both from Team Wowee. We were all thinking of were there because we're getting fired. Hahaha~ Funny, but really, the entire time we were waiting we kept on thinking who's getting fired first. Then Peaches made the announcement. We'd be the next set of Helpdesk agents under Ms. Carme. Yehey~! No more irate callers for a month. (before the helpdesk team was a rotational position, everyone get replaced every month).

My time with helpdesk was the best days as I'd always say. Petiks. Plus I've got 4 really great people with me daily. There's Gilbert and CJ, there's Rose who was our Batch Lead then and Ms. Carme. We were a small little party of happy campers. Gilbert became such a great friend then. I remember an instance when I'm walking along EDSA. As I was supposed to cross Quezon Ave (I was heading to Mc Ds) an owner type jeep with a very old ugly man inside stopped in front of me. He was asking me to come with him. Darn! He was trying to pick me up! I ran to Mc Ds and I called Gilbert as I was crying inside. Glenn was late and won't answer his phone. Gibo offered to get me. I did tell him I just needed to talk to someone since I'm sure Glenn's on his way now. Ohhh, sweet, sweet Gibo.

After a month, Ms. Carme decided to extend our stay in Helpdesk since we're doing a great job. We we're ecstatic of of course. By this time, they moved us to the area in front of Addison's Office since the account was growing steadily. And when the account is growing it means one thing, promotion time. They opened 6 slots for the TL position and 1 for QC. Of course I applied together with Rose. Gibo and CJ applied for the QC post. I was the last person to be interviewed. After my interview with Erwin, he went directly to Ms. Carme and congratulated her personally because I aced the interview. Everyone thought I was a shoo in. CJ got hired as the new QC and Rose as one of the TLs. Carme made the announcement that Gibo would be the next batch lead (sorta a consolation because he's the only one who was not promoted). We were wrong. I was dropped out of the list.

I was left out, not Gibo, as we first thought. They brought in the new people to replace CJ, who's now a QC and Gibo who's now the official Batch Lead. Jane and Jorge were brought in. We were a happy lot still. Carme, Gibo, me, Jane and Jorge. Rose would always come by, CJ is just a few seats away, Glenn would always be around during breaks. Later on when we can no longer handle the number of helpdesk calls because of the steady climb in the number of agents, they brought Orange in. Gibo got promoted as QC (I applied for it but they told me Gibo has more experience) and I was brought in as Batch Lead since I'm the only senior helpdesk left. Darlene took over when I got transferred.

By this time I've been off the phone for 4 months. Peaches asked Carme to take another Batch Lead instead of me. She wants me back on the floor. Carme explained that there's no one there more prefect for the job. I know everything and I've been there for months. It's better to keep me than train a new one. I stayed.

For the next four months I made manager call backs to irate customers. I worked on the complicated adjustments and basically cleaned up everybody's mess. One mess I couldn't clean up though was my personal life. Glenn broke up with me one day with no reason. Just that. One weekend he asked for some time alone. Which I gave him. During the weekdays we're a normal couple. But for 3 weekends we acted as if we didn't know each other. He'd disappear. On the fourth weekend I asked him if he was avoiding me...By the end of the conversation I turned my back on him and left.

Months went by and no one suspected a thing. I thought we were still trying to work things out. Kait gave birth to Kyan around this time. And though I honestly want to be there for her, I was emotionally distraught and I thought she doesn't need her crying, wailing and heartbroken bestfriend.

My October, people started to ask questions. Maybe because he just stopped coming over. Or maybe because I started to eat with Jane and Rose instead of wait for him every lunch. And I'd head home alone. Work by then was just a distant memory. But that was the time when I bonded more closely to everyone. Carme, Rose, Jane and Darlene became my support group. Blar would always drop by just to give me a hug. Jaypee would spend hours with me just talking. And Gilbert would always lend his shoulder when in the middle of the night all I want was cry.

When November came, news about the account closing up became prevalent. A new technical account is to be launched soon and they started to migrate qualified agents. I begged Carme to let me take the exam since I'm confident I'd ace it. I'm the most technical girl I know back then (well, Jane can't definitely know what I know about computers! Hahaha). Carme emailed HR and Christian dropped by the following week to tell me and Carme that I've been scheduled to take the exam and the list has been forwarded to Peaches. When the list came out, my name was not there. Glenn on the other hand passed and would start training as Batch 1 of L1 agents.

Ladit from P*yups sent me a message asking about the openings we have for the new account. I referred her and she got in. She was with Glenn on class Americano. Gladys is now a Manager for one of our accounts.

By then everyone was panicking. Sales got shut down and agents were furloughed. Customer Care would cease operations by end of the year and agents are being terminated left and right with whatever offense could be hurled at them. I was in panic. My life's in a mess and I can't afford to lose my job.

An opening for Workforce was posted. Carme asked everyone in the team to apply. Everyone did. Before the month ended, a week before the launch of the tech support account I was hired as an RTA. And my life took a 180 degrees turn.

Start V-Day Right

dylan: hanne
dylan: hanne bunny
dylan: hanneeee bunneeeee
hanne: dylan
hanne: musta na? wala ka nanamang makausap
dylan: meron naman
dylan: pero kinakatok lang kita
hanne: ahhhhhh
hanne: so miss mo ko
hanne: UP fair a. daming nagyayaya hinde naman ako pwede
dylan: kakulitan kita e
hanne: ay kakulitan lang pero hinde miss?
dylan: miss shempre
dylan: ikaw pa
hanne: wahahaha, si hanne walang malambing, nagtatyaga kay dylan
hanne: hahaha
hanne: ayun. pwede na yun
hanne: palimos po ng atensyon
dylan: happy valentines!
dylan: one minute na lang!
hanne: walanghiya
dylan: happy valentines!!!!
dylan: exactly 12am na!!!
hanne: happy valentines
hanne: pero singles tayo e
dylan: ok lang yun!
hanne: payn, payn, sabi mo e
dylan: hehe
dylan: parati naman tayo e
dylan: pag pasko
dylan: pag valentines
dylan: pag new year
hanne: wala ka nga nung pasko e
hanne: at nung new year
hanne: hmf
hanne: solo flight ako nun
dylan: hehe
dylan: nagbakasyon ako e
dylan: para naman maiba
dylan: nagka 4 years na tayong ganun halos
dylan: omg
dylan: ganun na katagal no?
hanne: ang losers natin dylan!
dylan: hhahhaa
dylan: ako loser!
hanne: ako cute
hanne: hahaha

Ohhh, Even You?

***For KT

My only ally is now turning mushy over V-day. I meant you, Kait. Ever since we've been friends I always end up being the nice, sweet girl because you're such an apathist. Hey, don't get this wrong girl. I like it, I'm actually trying to emulate you dearie. But when you start writing about v-day that's just plain scary. Hahaha~ Well, you do have the license to acknowledge the day, after all you're married.

I'm standing by my mantra though. Double or nothing. Ewwww~ I'm so manang.

Anyways, I went to have my facial, spa etc this morning after gym. I wanted to ask you sana but I know you're not into it. Not too girly enough ;p Who's got 2 kids anyways? Not the girly one definitely. Hehe~ Maybe I should change huh?

Sometimes I'm just torn between being who I want and being what people thinks I should be. I wish I could have your apathy. Really. And just not care. At all.

Hey, you need a job within a month? I'd help you. Why won't you stay though? Would it be really that bad to step up to their expectations? Akala ko ba we're paving a career path for you? Weird noh? We're bestfriends but we're just way too different. We could prolly compare every part of our lives and none would coincide. Like with this one, all I want to move up and show everyone I'm the best and that I can kick anybody's ass (esp those people I hate, eat my dusts punkies!) and you're happy just being where you are...somehow. Hmm, magulo ka din pala. Hahaha~ Decide. You want to leave? Look for a day job, I'd ask around. Darn, if kinakausap ko lang aunt ko e di sana Cathay Pacific ka na! Wahahaha~ I'm sorry, even for you I'm never gonna talk to her.

Anyways, I'd try to sleep na. I swear, my face feels like it's been torn into pieces and the only thing holding it together would be my pimples. Hahaha~ Kainis lang cos since it's election time, they're drilling the streets here. Ang obvious, pwede naman last month, or last last month or last year. Nakakatawa na nga yung mga ad campaign e. Only in the Philippines! So there, been hearing the drill non-stop since Tuesday last week, sa inyo din ba?

Anyways, catch you on chat. And yes, you can still be mushy about v-day and I won't mind. It's just weird. Hahaha~

I've Got Sticky Palms

<> .. says:
e sabi ko sa kanya basta pag nabuntis ako. ang tawag pa rin naman sa kanya ng anak ko e tito. natigilan...

hanne says:
hmmm...

<> .. says:
bakit naman ganyan ang reaction mo?

hanne says:
hinde ko sure kung anong mangyayari sa buhay ko..ang mga anak ninyo salasalabat ang mga magulang. parang isang malaking web of westions ang aking friendships here. pagdating sa anakan and kanaan...

Adult Content

Hernanione was a bit out of whack lately. He's been thinking a lot about sex. Actually the lack of it. He's now convinced he'd turn into a mini me since he's been saying no to casual encounters for the longest time. Being gay and all he thinks he has the right to be "not" a virgin for such a long time. Hey, turning into me ain't bad is it? Well, he thinks he's "maturing"...Okay, I didn't know I'm mature! Point is, he thinks he's turning into me and I'm not so sure whether he's happy with it or not.

Then I got to talk to sister the other night, and guess what? I'm losing again. Darn. Oh well, I'd rather be a loser than play the same game they're having. Being the other woman just ain't my thing. I was once that, though I didn't know it, and when I finally learned about it I just had to turn my back on the entire thing. Sure as hell feels like shit, how do you think one would feel to be on the other river? Darn. So yeah, I'd prolly be the loser for next few years. Hahaha~ Pramis, kaya ko 'to. Double or nothing. And I don't care if they laugh at me for even thinking I can. I know I can. Sana 'wag kong pagsisihan 'to. Sabi nga ni Hernan, bawal ang bawian.

Just Getting By

I was pushing myself to really get back my groove. All I wanted though was head home and leave my work, undone and in a mess. A part of me hates that of course, I've always been the responsible girl in any group. Heck, I'm the nicest person most of the time in ANY group.

Guess what? I didn't get my groove back but I was coaxing myself to at least be nice enough to finish everything that I could get done by the end of the day. I learned a whole great deal with BP really. Things I never knew I could do with it. What's the use though of learning all these things when I'd be leaving my end of next week? Ugh, ironic.

After work I went to Makati. Yeah, I took a cab. What's new? I can't make myself take the MRT even when Jane told me she'd be taking it with me on her way home. Instead I asked her to take the cab with me and I'd drop her off at Shaw. Wahaha~ I'm hopeless really. Public transport that requires me to be with strangers freaks the hell outta me.

Finally saw Kait. I met up with her and Ali after submitting my requirements. Sayang, as always, kulang ang oras. Plus I feel that I somehow need to be around her for support since I think I made her feel bad the other day because of my blog entry. Hay, we really need to make time. Anyways, I got my Xmas gift and I finally handed her mine. How late! So what!

Also I was thinking (as usual I was daydreaming the entire ride home, i love looooong cab rides) about what Joe said. No one referred to my short stories as "literotica" before. I guess a part of me likes to remember certain things and events but at the same time give it a different meaning just so I won't forget how it was like.

Would you believe that I finally talked to someone who knows who Pat is and I was able to say his name out loud and not worry about getting a "who the hell is that" stare? It feels good. Though he's definitely my most favorite person to hate at the moment (next to Bakeks pala), it feels nice to actually remember that we did have a great time together...well...a coupla days and nights I guess.

Just to make it clear, not all stories here are fiction, and not all of them are entirely non-fiction. Start guessing!

BTW, I'm 70+ entries short of my 1000th entry here. I want something nice to write about on my 1000th blog. Any suggestions?

SM

Penny and I were chatting a while ago. We're both sleepy. Wanting to catch some ZZZs we started talking about looking for a place to crash into for an hour or so. Power nap galore. The she said, "sleep tayo SM" and I was like, "what?!"

"Sa Motel." She said.

I was thinking, we're in the middle of QC, it won't be hard. I then told her it would be nice cos I haven't been inside a motel before. She cried, "No way! Is that for real?"

Hehe. Never been inside a motel room physically. Not even the lobby. EVER. So kill me. Hahahaha~

Shutter Happy

Went around the floor taking pictures of everybody. Saying goodbye can be fun.

Just Pictures

Here's how I spent my Friday night. See that tower of beer? I didn't drink that, just had one glass...Hahaha~

Kopi Mates

We met up as planned Friday night. Me, Mikey and Randell. Sir Nonoy and Ryan had to bail out though, too bad.

After an hour or so playing Time Crisis at Timezone Gateway we went for coffee, just so we could hang some more. We wanted to see a movie but they stopped selling tickets already.

By 3.30 AM we've exhausted almost all possible topics. Well, not really. Somehow we managed to talk about everyone we knew and a lot was discussed about work. It was fun all in all. You get to finally settle a lot of issues, you finally got the answers you've been wanting to ask and somehow, though they're all years late it's still worth it.

What really was the hghlight of the night though (after the fact that by 3.30am I've been awake for 30+ hours) was when Mikey told us he left the car inside Gateway's parking. Wahahaha~ The mall was closed, we tried every single opening that we could find, went around to check for any guards patrolling the area. After sometime they hailed me a cab and sent me home. I gathered that they left after a few minutes and Mikey just decided to head back there the following morning when the parking's open.

I took some pictures of the guys while we checked the driveways to see if we could us in and the car out.

Being Merry And Bright

I dozed off early last night. It was something new. I guess I got sleepy and heavy from reading my new Shopaholic book from Hens (who was my prince from our Disney Princess themed Kris Kringle). I got up about an hour ago to find 8 messages from people who remembered to greet me. Sabi ko nga kay Aian, since my birthday's the same day as the busiest day of the season, not everyone remembers it and when one does, it means so much to me. I don't expect gifts no more. I'm too old for that (but still welcome hehe) and I don't expect people to come see me (though I know that Ryan and Randell tried their best to always be with me the night before my birthday, sayang walang budget this year) since I know they'd all be busy. The simple greeting is enough. Isipin mo, sa busy nila, sa dami ng nangyayari, sa pagod nila, they still remember.

Am chatting with Glenn now. He was calling me midnight to greet me but I was fast asleep. I greeted him back with a "ho ho ho" line. He asked what that's for, I said I'm trying to get into the spirit. And he added, quite intuitively, "and failing miserably." Yeah, he knows me. He knows for a fact that today would be one of the hardest days for me.

Family would be around me, friends would be calling and I'd be smiling as expected when all I want is to be left alone. Funny because I know for a fact that I'm not alone in feeling this way. I know for a fact that a lot of people are feeling the same emptiness. How'd I know? Because they told me, and I kinda figured it out. Why would I be on chat the entire Christmas eve with someone else if they feel like celebrating? Why would someone drink like there's no tomorrow the day before Christmas? Why would they tell me they want to cry and die at the same time during the Holidays. Yet, like me, they go through all the set traditions painstakingly. Gifts, noche buena, cards, greetings, smiles.

I think afterwards, would I ever know the genuine smiles from the ones who are hiding something?

Through all the Christmases and all the Birthdays that I have endured and yet to endure as an adult, I never stopped in wishing though that someday "I'd feel Christmas again."

Ask Again

Hmm...Must be the season! Samahan ng malalamig ang Pasko. Unite!

One More Before D' Day

I went around the mall again to get some last minute shopping. Well, I'm still far from being done but I was able to do a lot. A lot of walking that is. After 30 minutes of fighting my way through the crowd in my "office" attire and 3 inch killer heels, I decided to buy some flip flops. Hello Ipanema Brown and Gold! From the moment I saw it at Gateway last month I've been drooling over it. It's like the metallic Havs which I can't find but in this rich chocolate and gold color. Woohoo~

Also, I got Mishka a Baby CD Player. Para wag naman siyang magtampo since I got KD a baby Laptop. Kait, I didn't get your kids any yet. Utang muna. Hehe~

I got myself a new fluffy giant pillow. Yeah!~ Another one for myself. Selfish!

You know what though? The closer Christmas gets, the lonelier I feel. Everywhere I look at I see friends, families, lovers doing "christmas-y" things together. And there I was, lugging my plastic bags like an old harassed lady. It came to a point when I see nothing anymore. My mind receded to that other place where no one can once again reach me. Sad.

I've been spending the past 3-4 Christmases at home, online. I used to have Dylan with me all the time. Let's see this year if I still have someone to share Christmas with. If not, then maybe, he's changed his mind about celebrating...maybe then, I'd really be alone.

Kopi Date

Ryan and Randell visited me last night at work. We had coffee c/o Ryan (ang yaman naman e!) and chatted for 4 hours straight. Too bad Janrey's not around and Sir Nonoy can't make it. It was something I missed doing. They've been asking me for years to work somewhere in Makati so it's easier to set up coffee dates like the one we had last night. Who knows, they might get their wish this Christmas. Hehe~ Ryan and I just might find ourselves working on the same building for two different call centers and Randell just around the corner, with Mikey and Ruelo a few building's away. Woohoo~

Escape

I miss traveling. I've never been given the chance to extensively travel as my family can't afford anything farther than manila zoo when I was a kid. I had a chance to head to HongKong once, back in the 80s since my Aunt works for Cathay Pacific. Then there was the Baguio trip with my other Aunt's family back in December 1989, yes, inabutan kame ng coup d'etat sa Baguio.

Good thing college gave me more than once opportunity to go around. It's still the usual "family" outing slash "sosy" trips since we spent time at Puerto Azul, Fontana and several private beaches in Batangas, but the point of the entire fact is that I was able to LEAVE Manila!

The greatest trip ever was the 3 1/2 days I spent way up the mountains. Sagada. I can't describe how happy I was to have experienced that. Too bad I lost my travel buddy early on. Who knows where our feet could've lead us if we're still able to travel together.

The trip to Puerto Galera last year was also a welcome surprise! Nakaalis ako ng Luzon! Woohoo~The beach, the sun, the sand, the booze. Yeah, the booze. I don't normally drink but hell, I drowned myself in Mindoro Sling.

Running Around

Gosh! The season's finally getting to me.

I woke up early today since I was dead to the world when I got home yesterday from Makati. I went online since I got a message from Carme asking if I was still up. After chatting with Glenn for an hour or so we realized we're supposed to head to the gym by 8am. So I hurriedly went about readying my gym bag and all. I was there on time and went through the regular trouble of trying to stay fit, cherky! Hehe~

A little before 11am, we decided to go to Nike Stadium so he could buy me the gloves. I've been doing some weights and my palm's with callouses all over. So there, he had an instant gift for me.

Then I met up with Hernan shortly after and went crazy buying gifts for everyone. He got me a charm for my charm bracelet and I got him a book. And we got Penny some bling bling. And I got KD something, Glenn and Tim too. Sheesh. After all the walking, my feet felt like I've broken all the teeny tiny bones there into bits and pieces.

We went back to the office since we decided it would be better to leave all our packages there and then went straight to FIX to have our hair colored. I had a cut too. I don't like it being too long. It looks wonderful but it's so complicated to maintain. All the extra shampoo, conditioner, the deep conditioner, the root conditioner, the hair spa treatment. Sheesh~ And I had it colored again. Back to black. I'm gonna get highlights soon. I dunno when that would be though since my stylist told me I seem to be visiting less and less lately. Hay! Busy!

After that, I went up to my station and checked a few emails while waiting for Nikki and Junvie. We were supposed to head to May's birthday together. While I was waiting for them to pick me up at the steps, I saw Drew (libreng hug and kiss nanaman!).

Hay. I just got home from May's birthday inuman session. I didn't even finish half of my bottle and I was not able to wait for some of the guest to come. Got to spend a bit of time with Tabs and Iska. Sad, they're going to Laguna tomorrow for a team outing/barkada gimik and I can't go. ARRRRRRGH!~