First and Last

I rendered my last day as an employee at RMH last night. Would you believe that until the last half hour I was 'moving colors' still? That I was still trying to make something out of the short time given to me to come up with a viable enough study. I don't think I was able to deliver. How can I? I was given 2 weeks to work on the schedules, train 2 replacements and develop an entirely new scheduling algorithm, program it and make a study. I got the first two done and I went as far as being able to program the 96 new combination of working patterns and rest days. Only thing I was not able to finish was the study. I tried. Really. I did. I don't think anyone could be as idealistic as I am and even attempt to complete something as radical as that on his last 2 weeks at work. I tried.

And obviously I'm disappointed at myself. Hahaha~ See, I can't just let it go. I'm so used to being able to deliver that I feel bad for not being able to this time around. That's the bad side of being a good person really.

So there, I spent my last day working AND saying my good byes. Sad.

I didn't have time to dwell on that sadness though since I had to attend my Orientation for IBM. I'm not gonna go into the details of my day though. I don't think it merits time. Hahaha~ But I've 2 things to say after going through that. One is that I'm so freaking tired and I've been up and running for more than 20 hours straight now and two, it feels like High School again when I stepped into that auditorium. If you know me, you'd know what I mean.

I'm tired and sleepy and hungry. I can't stop thinking of the day I would retire. That would be a blessing. Honestly, I don't know for how long I can continue to live like this. Fast, fast, fast.

So fast that I'm getting stressed. And when I'm stressed, my body comes up with radical means to show the emotional and psychological pressure and translate it into something physical. Sometimes with cluster headaches or migraine attacks, there are times with skin asthma...and like now, stomatitis. It's an infection that usually comes up when I'm stressed because my body can't fight the bacteria that's in the air anymore. And since my lips are often dry and are easily chaffed, I get small wounds which in the end gets infected. I need tons of vitamin C. I've also asked my mom to buy me the trimycin ointment that my old derma prescribed.

Now, I rest. I'm done ranting. Hehehe~ Yun lang gusto ko e. Mag-rant.