
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Golden Gowns

Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Grand Idea
| Daily Extended Forecast for January 17, 2007 | |
| Provided by Astrology.com | Daily Teen Forecast |
Teaching an old dog new tricks isn't hard when the dog wants to improve itself! You can sense something new starting in your life, so why not go with this feeling and make some personal changes? In order to take advantage of an upcoming transition, you'll have to let go of a few old habits. But one glimpse at your possible future will show you that all the effort will be worthwhile. Today you will be handed a golden opportunity on a silver platter.
| Touchstone: The Wheel of Fortune | |
| Career: The Empress | |
|
Trouble In The House
Yes, I'm working in a call center and yes I'm quite fortunate in that case. Being an undergrad and having no special training under my belt I was still able to get a higher than usual salary. The moment I started to work over 4 years ago I committed myself to helping my sister get through college. But when at the beginning my mom expressed that she can do it and my sister can enter the University of her choice, I stood watching as they buried themselves in utang. Yes, FEU is much too expensive for my jobless parents, what the hell were they thinking?!
Over 2 years ago I gave my sister an ultimatum. Transfer to UP where I can afford your tuition or stop your studies. She followed my request, though she's still mug about it til now. To this day she'd refer to UP as my school. She'd never say, "Punta ako ng school." rather she's more likely to claim, "punta ako sa school mo e." I turned a deaf ear. I don't care if her words are filled with resentment, I'm sending her to school and she has to take into consideration that I'm the only one in the family with an income and that income comes at P7,000 per payday. Not much for a family of 5.
My favorite story about my sister was probably her fate last year. She had 5 subjects. One prof threatened to flunk her if she doesn't get a copy of this book. I told her at that time that I was out of cash. She bawled for days, but I never moved. I told her maybe she could start looking for a part-time job since I can't always be ready with money when the need arise. My dad started yelling at me at that. He told me to stop bugging my sister because I'm the one "with money." What?! Anyways, I ended up giving her the P700 though I explained to her she could always scour the various libs at UP (heck, it's for English 10, would that be so hard to find? it's not even limited ed) or just borrow from her classmates and have it photocopied at SC. Both ideas she rejected with tons of really irritating excuses. She ended up dropping that subject anyways, and I wanted to wring her neck for that. What's worse was when she told me that she has INC on 2 other subjects. Great! 5 subjects, 1 dropped, 2 INC and 2 passing. What kind of grade is that?
I forced myself to forgive her after that and still gave her tuition for the following school year. Now my mom is telling me she would ask both my brother and sister to stop college. I was astounded. What will happen to us? A family of undergrads, with jobless parents and irresponsible siblings...Ugh~! If this is karma I could've been one of Hitler's minions.
Last night I caught both of them in my room. I asked them if they know that our mom's planning on making them stop and was actually hoping they'd go get a job. They stared at me. Yes, that's all they did. Stare.
Now tell me, ain't I in big trouble?
Monday, January 15, 2007
Something's Wrong
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Not So Daily Things
Friday, January 12, 2007
Almost Over
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Last Drop Of Gas

Sometimes it feels like I'm running on the last drop of gas, that in a second I'd find the entire engine stalling as I watch the smoke billow from my rear. And then in between those moments I'd feel sudden flashes of genius ideas that is nothing less than divine intervention in itself. Then I'd hit another roadblock and I'd eventually resign to the sidewalk where I'd probably stay while I wait out the feeling of being overdrawn.
Kakapagod minsan.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Just Ranting
Monday, January 08, 2007
Just Pictures
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Year End Survey
What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Letting the inner me out more often much to the surprise of the people around me.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I told myself I won't bury myself in work, I had more sleep compared to 2005. I said I'd stop taking too many shopping trips and I don't think I bought that much shoes this year and I have not bought a single new bag for 2006 *grins* Also, I told myself I'd have more fun. Now, fun is something to be defined, but to be able to finally let myself lose once in a while and let that inner voice take an active part in my life is more than enough fun that I can handle.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
My cousin!
Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. In reality and figuratively.
What countries did you visit?
Err...I've been to fairyland. Hehe~
What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Faith. Faith in the fact that life will always give me what's due and that in the end everything would be just mighty fine.
What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 5 and 17.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Learning to accept defeat. Knowing that I'm not invincible. Finally accepting that life would never get any easier, it would actually get a lot tougher.
What was your biggest failure?
I was too afraid to let go of the things that have long been gone. You can't hold onto memories. Some things are meant to stay like that, memories.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
A lot of migraine attacks. Toothache which I never thought I'd get again after ten thousand years.
What was the best thing you bought?
Hmm, my worldvision sponsorship. If you could consider that.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
Errrr...I can't think of anyone. Hahaha~ Everyone deserves a toast. It's a darn hard life and to survive another year is enough reason to celebrate.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Bakeks from work. And random memories from the past that until now I can't understand. I guess that's why they're random ;p
Where did most of your money go?
Wek, coffee? food? books, clothes, tuition, cab fare, facials, hair salon. Hahaha~
What did you get really, really, really excited about last year?
A new relationship which didn't end well...no regrets though. I learned tons from it. Most importantly it reminded me I'm supposed to shun off men..and overstated friends.
What song(s) will always remind you of 2006?
"Beautiful" by India Arie
"City of Blinding Lights" by U2
"Beautiful" by Moby
Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? -- happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? -- fatter!
iii. richer or poorer? -- both. I'm richer if you add up all my earnings but poorer because I spent more this year ;p
What do you wish you'd done more?
Exercise. Sleep. Laugh.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying. Didn't help me and I'm still on it. Ugh, neverending.
How many one-night stands?
Wala ata. Hahahaha~
What was your favorite TV program?
Nothing really. Just random shows on cable.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yes. Sino kaya siya? Heehee~
What was the best book you read?
I can't honestly remember all the books I've read but the Undomestic Goddess by Kinsella made me think a lot. Really. I doesn't sound much but I thought, do i want a life in the fast lane or do i want to take my chances and look for my small place in some secluded suburbs...? That's the thing I've been worrying about for the latter part of the year really.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Oh my...I'm so out of tune...Don't ask me.
What did you want and get?
Another chance to prove to myself that I can let my guards down. I got it alright...and had my heart broken another time. Sheeeeesh~
What was your favorite film of this year?
Happy Feet? I really can't remember anything.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I slept. 25.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Losing all my excess baggage early on? I still have a lot by the way so there's no point!
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Simple.
What kept you sane?
Blogging. P*yups. The Starbucks Baristas. My incessant non-exclusive talks with Hernan and Penny. Gym days that gave me happy hormones.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
No one.
What political issue stirred you the most?
You know me, nothing political in nature please.
Who did you miss?
my family.
Who was the best new person you met?
My new self.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
I'm not supergirl or wonderwoman as everyone thinks I am. I had to work hard for everything and that makes every single thing happening in my life really valuable. You want something? Work for it. You want to rid yourself of something? Let go. You want to know yourself? Take time to listen.
What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
I deserve more.
The most touching experience you've had this year?
A smile from a stranger. A hug from no one. A kiss from an illusion.
What did you like most about yourself this year?
My undying belief in the goodness of everyone.
What did you hate most about yourself this year?
Being too hormonal and emotional.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"The time is right, I'm gonna pack my bags and take that journey down the road...I wanna go to a place where I have nothing and everything that exist between in the here and nowhere...I wanna go to a place where time has no consequences and the skies open to my prayer...I wanna go to beautiful."
Was 2006 a good year for you?
It was. It might not seem like it at first glance but learning about myself and life is always more important than the things I had to endure and go through.
What was your favorite moment of the year?
Those nights when i was brave enough to make myself feel what's really there.
What was your least favorite moment of the year?
That Thursday afternoon when my phone rang and I was dragged into another sad reality. And that sad day in the hospital when all I wanted was to be this little girl once again. And that one afternoon in UP when I realized I don't belong there anymore, and I pity the next person who realizes that they don't too.
Where were you when 2006 began?
Home.
Who were you with?
No one.
Where were you when 2006 ended?
Home.
Who were you with when 2006 ended?
No one.
Do you have a new years resolution for 2007?
To free myself.
Random
***
I met up with the p*yups peeps yesterday. It was fun. Really. I almost forgot how nice it is to laugh. And smile and just be among people who are so different in so many ways yet still the same as everyone else. Simply put, I miss having my life back.
***
From zero I am now a hot commodity. Well, not really. In my dreams dude, in my dreams. Then again, having too many options makes everything the harder. Just like when you're left inside this really fantastic shoe store and all the strappy stilettos are staring back at you...ugh, you just gotta have all. That's how I'm feeling now. Options are now on the table, now I make a decision.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Superhuman Me
Well, I didn't get any snooze time this afternoon since my darn phone won't stop ringing. First IBM called, they had me scheduled tonight for another interview with the operations director. Then just before I could sleep, Siemens called and I'b be headin there tomorrow morning for an interview. After that another center called asking me if I want to be an agent. Wek. I said I'm not interested. Sad but it seems sleep became uninterested as well. By 7pm I was pulling myself off of the bed so I could head to IBM.
Geez.
I waited for more than an hour before I got interviewed. Guess what, the entire interview itself lasted a mere 5 minutes againts the 70 minutes of waiting. Asteeeeeeg~
Am tired na. That's why I went home. Plus the new manager is still missing. She said she'd be back from her leave by January 2nd but she never showed up yesterday.
Goodluck with me. Tomorrow I got another round of interviews. Me sleep now.
Exhausted
Panic
It's creeping in. I am worried. My anxiety is picking up. Please
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