I Just Don't

I know of several people who would stare at me with awe whenever I tell em that I don't hear mass. Pao and Joey thought I was just playing a bad joke on 'em several weeks back. In the spirit of the holidays lemme explain.

I was brought up a Catholic. I was baptized in a Catholic church. I went to a Catholic school. I went to mass, heard simbang-gabi, attended the salubong and the various celebrations that the Catholic community has. I played an angel in the salubong, I was part of the choir, I used to pray the novena every wednesday and I used to be an avid fan of the rosary.

Then I grew up.

A lot of people might blame UP for this, believe me, the school nor anyone in it made me believe otherwise. I guess, I just realized a lot of superficiality in the traditions that I used to hold so dear. I lost my faith in the people who are supposedly leading the flock. And I lost my belief that organized religion is the way to go.

I've nothing againts religion, I still abide the basic laws. I still pray (or as I would like to call it, communicate with the Force), I can stillr ecite parts of the Latin prayers, and I still believe in the Holy Spirit. I guess, everything that I used to believe in just took a different face as I grew older.

Am I a bad person now? Am I hurting anyone by staying at inside my room, surfing the internet and blogging when the rest of the country is attending the Christmas Eve mass, exchanging gifts and having their Noche Buena? I don't think so. I'm greeting people online. I'm texting people. And I'm truly praying for their happiness for the days to come. Does that make me a bad person? You tell me. I don't think I am.