Saturday, July 09, 2005

Once More

I now managed to break my heart once more. This time, just when I thought everything's been healed and the scars' almost forgotten. That's the biggest joke of all, I guess, 'cause I caught myself bleeding the moment I read another woman's message of undefying love to someone I thought I'm over with.

Singlehandedly, I managed to make yet enother fool out of my sorry self. I am talented at making a laughingstock out of my languid actions and my dreamy thoughts. I knew I'm gonna get myself into trouble again, but I never thought it'd be this soon, not even a year after THE first major heartbreak. Hell, I can gag myself now! Sorry bitch!

I wish I can make myself immune from the pain. I wish I can forget all the simple wonderful things that makes him him. I wish I can erase that moment I started to trust him. I wish I can rebuild my castledom in haste. I wish I don't feel this searing jealousy. Again, someone who used to be mine is being owned up by another.

I wish I didn't have to cry over someone who was never truly, fully, mine. My mistake really. Stupid once more.

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Panic

It's creeping in. I am worried. My anxiety is picking up.  Please