Monday, April 25, 2005

My Jaded Reality

There's no point in posting this conversation here, but I needed to make sure I'll remember.
patrick (3:30:03 PM): I got your email...thanks. that stung, but if you think that that's best, then so be it...
patrick (3:30:03 PM): it's funny, but maybe I do have this way of hurting people even when I don't want to...
patrick (3:30:03 PM): ...like you said...I'm me. sorry if you got hit by the curse I seem to be carrying around.
patrick (3:30:03 PM): take care.
hanne (4:02:57 PM): sorry...
patrick (4:04:08 PM): no need for that...
hanne (4:04:39 PM): i just wanted you to know what i was thinking and what i'm feeling...but i wrote that weeks ago...that's not my current sentiment...
patrick (4:05:02 PM): so what is
hanne (4:05:33 PM): nothing. i just don't feel anything anymore.
hanne (4:06:05 PM): i just think. i think i'll miss you. i think i still wanna talk to you. i think we can learn from eah other still...
patrick (4:07:06 PM): mmm....don't feel anything? if you don't why are we pushing it?
hanne (4:07:33 PM): cause i thought you don't want to.
patrick (4:11:47 PM): don't want to what?
hanne (4:13:03 PM): i thought you don't want to push for it...
patrick (4:14:11 PM): you know thinking is a bad habit, right?
hanne (4:15:04 PM): point being...
hanne (4:15:50 PM): ?
hanne (4:17:57 PM): are you saying i shouldn't think at all?
patrick (4:18:52 PM): funny girl....just do what you think is best
hanne (4:20:50 PM): the best things aren't always the right thing.
patrick (4:21:24 PM): then choose. it's all up to you
hanne (4:26:01 PM): i'm following your lead...and you're leading me no where. haha
patrick (4:26:51 PM): haha? you make it sounde like that was a joke when I know it wasn't.
patrick (4:26:51 PM): haha
patrick (4:26:57 PM): ha
patrick (4:27:08 PM): please, don't do that again.
Never.

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Panic

It's creeping in. I am worried. My anxiety is picking up.  Please