A Little Help

A little help will do. I just need to see a small sign that I am not alone in this ordeal.

I was surprised my sister told me that someone called her and was asking if she was interested in a job. Someone happened to search her on jobstreet where I made an account for her. I've been pushing her in getting some part-time job somewhere. She was all hyped up and was telling me how scared she was. And I was thinking of my first job interview at Infonxx more than three and a half year ago. I was barely 21, I don't know anything about jobs, I have only 2 IDs to my name (my UP ID and Driver's License) and I don't even have any appropriate dress.

I still thought back then that Ortigas and Makati were right beside each other. Stupid. I told everyone at home I'm applying for a part-time time and they prepared a hearty breakfast for me. I wore my only decent skirt and one of my blouses and my non-heeled slip-on. I looked like I was going to church. When the bus entered Ayala Ave, I realized I've been there before, I just didn't know THAT was Ayala. I went in, took the exam, got interviewed, only to be told I passed everything but they're not accepting students unless I'm planning on dropping my subjects. I told them I can't. Several months after, I decided I need a job more than I want to stay in school. So I dropped out and tried several different companies again. PeopleSupport hired me and there was no turning back.

When my sister told me how scared she was I wanted to tell her how at age 21 I left everything and threw myself out in the open. I wanted to tell her it's gonna be okay and at the same time I wanted to tell her to pick her butt off of the couch and head out.

I need some help here. Soon. I cannot continue to send my sister to school knowing full well that I'm not helping her develop any sense of ownership over her life. I don't know how to teach her to be independent when she has me and my mom to ask for everything. She don't have credit, ask mama to get her load (yes, she can't even buy her own freakin' load). Mama won't give her money, ask ate. She has no load and mama won't give her money, use ate's phone and text everyone away. All I was asking is for her to find a part-time job, an hour of tutoring some grade schooler maybe. Just that.

I know how scary it is to head out in the jungle. One day she has to do. And even if it means I had to drag her in the middle of night, then I'd do it. I'd even make sure I'd drop her at the most God forbidden section of the wild just to throw in some luck. I just have to get past my mom.