How Big Is The Pool

Would you rather be a big fish in a small pool or a small fish in a big pool?

I ask, how big is big? And how small is small? You see, by leaving those things undefined you just got yourself caught up in a very vicious cycle. One that would crush your ego over and over until you could no longer hold yourself up. And yes, i'm talking from experience. Given that I'm only 24 and very much sheltered compared to most I haven't even seen anything close to a pond really.

When I was in senior high, I was so proud to wear my I.D. mainly because the identifications at our school are color coded and it shows what level you're in. Heck, I was one of the biggest fishes in that fish bowl of ours. I was senior, part of the top class and one of the top students. And then? Nothing. When I stepped out of it I was nothing. I was a plankton. A bad plankton at that...Now don't even ask me what a bad plankton is okay, let's agree that it's something really nasty.

Then you think you're all good and nice after sometime. You want people to know where you're studying because they're not in there with you. You want people inside to know what course you're taking because they're not in there with you. And you want everyone in your college where you belong because they're not part of that group with you. And then what? Nothing. When I stepped out of the university I was nothing. I was a wide-eyed doll who knows nothing. And again...it was nasty.

Now I'm in another world. And I feel so small and big. When I look back, I see just how far I've come. I see all the people I've left behind. And I see all the people I've travelled with. But then I look forward I see all the others that I had to pass through. I see all the steps I gotta take to move up. And I see that it's gonna be a long way up.

And to answer the question, I aim to be the biggest fish in my own little fishbowl but would willingly be a small fish in a community inside that big pond.