Naggingly Emotional

Someone just called me "naggingly emotional" last night. And you know what, I would almost agree. Almost. Too bad I'm sure I'm not half as emotional as he was lately. Plus I could always blame my hormones if I'm acting up.

Also, there's been this really persistent buzz behind my head that's making me crazy. I've been known to think too much. i'm a worrywart by design. Nothing compares though to the jitters I'm getting now This is worse than a job interview or failing an entire sem, this is worse than being held up or having lost your entire wallet with all your IDs. Oh yes, the feeling is a lot worse.

I've been feeling sick the past 2 nights now. I think my gastritis is acting up. I have no idea. I do hope though that Penny was wrong. Haha~ I would die if her suspicions are right. Okay, so I won't die, but I'd definitely cry a lot.

I saw Click with my cousins last Sunday. I never thought I'd like it that much. I did, surprisingly. It was a bit pathetic that I still cry over movies until now, and an Adam Sandler movie at that. But heck, I'm human. That made me a bit nostalgic though. Family First, he said. Now where's my family anyway? Gone? Almost. Not quite. But almost.

If you look at us, you'd think we have it going good. Heck, we're the most normal family here in our area. C'mon, if you're living near the slums, having your own house without having to co-habitate with ten other families is something. Being in my 20s with no kids and a job means I get a lot of admiring stares from my used to be playmates who are jobless and are pregnant with their 4th kid. Then again, they don't know that I have the most dysfunctional family among my peers.

I'd like to think we're just like any other family. Where, by the time, the kids reach puberty they tend to be with their friends more. But that's not the entire truth when it comes to me and my siblings. We leave the house as often as we could because there's nothing left here to save. I leave the house whenever I could because I can't find anything to like here. I get depressed. A lot. Just like with watching the news, I get depressed seeing where the country is now. When I stay at home and I'm with my family, I get depressed for the same reasons. We can't even help ourselves.

I always tell people that I haven't lost hope for the country. Though I'd admit to being apathetic, I won't say I've given up on it entirely. Same with my family. I may am apathetic, I'd admit to that, but I still believe we could work everything out one day. Only thing I'm waiting for is the assurance that they are willing to do anything to make anything and everything work. Which, unfortunately, is asking bit too much for my family right now. Well, I'm still hopeful.