Boxed Reality

Someone once told me that I'm wonderfully jaded. I can't say that I got what he meant when he said that, and I won't pretend that I can now. Maybe I was able to get a glimmer of understanding, but still everything's jaded. Hopefully, still wonderful.

I was pretending to be in deep thoughts this morning, all the while trying to think of an excuse so I can head home early. no, not for the boss, but an excuse for myself just so that I won't feel that I'm once again an irresponsible creep. I so hate to see myself as irresponsible. Really.

Then I saw it. My jaded reality is fixed right on top of my table, staring straight back at me as if bullying me into forgetting they're ever there. It weird how simple instances and plain objects jolts our reality into being, ain't it? Well, it seems to always happen to me. It's ,like that series Wonderfalls, inanimate objects suddenly talks to me giving me snippets of tasks that pushes me to understand the grand thing called life. Well, I'm a long way from that, but a little realization helps a lot.

Look at what I saw and see if you'd find your own little realization...I believe him now. I really am jaded. Hopefully still wonderful.

You communicate with the most important people in your life through words and letters that spans miles yet all you want is to hold them and touch them. You remind yourself of your daily tasks and the things that you can't do without, yet the most improtant things are often forgotten into nothingness. Orders are taken and passed on, work is done and assessed, but we never stop living and learning. We hide behind a name that is not ours, we hide behind a frame that holds nothing but a moment of your life, and yet we find no time to live and hope for the future. I hold keys and I flash IDs to get where I want when deep inside, I won't allow anyone to penetrate my mind...I have so much in me, yet I can give so little. I receive so much, yet I feel nothing. I am, but more often no more.