Push It

Before you read the rest of this entry let me make a statement: It might sound narcissistic but I love to hear people describe me. Not because I revel at the thought of being noted but simply because I learn more about myself each time.

Just a few minutes someone I just met said that I seem to be demanding. Let me quote some of the things he said...

1. you seem to be very smart and assertive
2. i guess because you seem to know what you want
3. and you are not afraid to say it
4. parang demanding ka ngayon, kakatakot ka naman

No, I don't see those comments negatively. As a matter of fact I was able to verbalize one thing that I've never been able to admit to anyone directly. I AM demanding. I am the perfect example of that joke, "Lord, help me be patient, NOW NA!" Ask anyone who's been with me long enough and they'd tell you the same thing. Ask my ex, he was the first ever person to tell me that.

I guess I am like that simply because I'm all of the other things he said he thinks of me. I am smart and assertive, I know what I want and yes, I am not afraid to say whatever's inside my head.

Being smart in my book is simply knowing where you stand, where you're heading and knowing how you'd get there. You become smart when you know exactly who you are and how you're meant to play the game. You become smart when you understand the rules of life and human relations. You become smart simply by knowing the truth behind every simple detail of your own life. I guess, I am that. After all, I always believed in reaching inwards, in finding the soul and the fire that drives me into being. Without self knowledge one is lost.

With that, I too am assertive. I know who I am, I know where I stand and I know where I want to end up in. Do you leave it at that? Of course not. You fight for it. You claim what is yours. And you stand your ground. You won't let people push you off the track and you won't be swayed to stop. If needed, you'd drag yourself forward because you know...You know you are destined to get what you want.

And since I'm sure of who I am, of what I want and where I'm headed. And since I'm pushing forward in claiming the things that I know is rightfully mine...I am not afraid to tell everyone this truth that I know, this truth that I've come to believe in. I deserve all this. And I'm gonna get it. Let it be known.

One more time, push it.

Make me think and make me feel.

Help me understand myself and see what everybody else sees...

Lemme share a poem a wrote years ago...

You

listen to him who mirrors you
he'll show you who you are
for the mirror in front of you
can see you better
looking from afar