Somewhere Else

Once I walked through this lone path that I discovered when I was still young. I remember it as a wide dirt road, its earth solid and packed, almost as if polished by the thousands of feet that stomped on it over time. I used to think just how wonderful that dirt road looked, how verdant and green the plants are on it's sides, hugging the entire length of the path. I used to like the way the road seemed to be alive with various humming and chirping, as if all the birds and insects wanted to stay within the greenery that defines the way towards somewhere else.

A few years after, when I was no longer able to control my heightened need to finally traverse the dirt road I so long admired, I steeled my heart and I headed towards it. I walked for a few hours, admiring the various people that are walking the same path. All of us awaiting the end. But it seemed apparent that the road is long and that not all of us would not have the stamina and the will to last to see the end.

I saw thousands of different faces, some with vibrant and excited glints on their eyes, others almost forlorrn and lost, some had walking sticks, as if they're putting the very last effort into reaching the seem to be impossible end while others are running though afraid of coming in last. I felt that each of them had a great desire inside them to reach the myth of somewhere else but I sensed, more than ever, the difference in each soul I see as we all have a different reason for wanting it.

I stopped thinking after a while, I stopped noticing everyone else, I stopped seeing. I stopped. The verdant greenery on both sides are now gone, only dried out fields of hay lay hapless on both sides reaching through the horizons. The almost smooth packed earth underneath me became loose rugged stones and dry dirt. The path ahead no longer seems approachable but dark and dreadful. Storm clouds seemed to gather wherever thi path is leading and I found myself with a sole companion. A man with laughing eyes and an enthused sense of self.

He held out his hand, said he too was afraid but if I'm going with him then he'll battle the rugged road ahead with me by his side. I just stared ahead and imagined all the wonderful adventures that we'll have, I stopped seeing the gloom that lie ahead my vision but instead I once again saw just how wonderful this dirt path was and I figured, will be again, if only I'd take my chances.

That moment a sage appeared blocking our path. It would seem like I'm the only one who can see him as the man beside me showed no sign that something unbecoming suddenly happened. He was still smiling as he waited patiently for me to take his hand. The sage appeared to me amused of me, he seemed to have sensed my hesitation and at the same time the happiness and excitement I have towards the path ahead and towards the man beside me. He asked me if I'm ready, to which I dramatically answered, "Y-y-yes." Before disappearing he told me that he can sense my happiness and that it seems I'm able to fill the world with it, so tangible and real that it can be felt immediately by any wandering soul that'll see me. At the same time I sensed a deep concern in his eyes, as if he feels sorry for me. That, I tried to ignore as I took the hand of the man beside me.

True enough, the road that seemed so unappealing a few steps back was brought back to lifethe moment we pushed forward. A sudden rush of vivid comfort drew us together, closer and closer to the far reaching horizon that seems to continue without end. All the wonderful things were back. Every turn with a new surprise. I was enveloped with the beauty that was offered to us by the dirt path which to my eyes are marble floors shining with the sunlight. My companion and I would run and laugh, we'd play games and trip over scattered and upturned branches, we'd wish for more adventures and we'd cry over the bad things that we'd pass by. But all through our journey he would not let go of my hand, even when I wanted to hold onto something else, even when I felt like embracing someone we've just met, even when I wanted to shake two hands at the same time, he won't let go of my other hand. And that felt comforting.

I can't remember how it happened but time came when the path became unpleasant once again, the greenery died slowly as we moved forward, the people disappeared one after the other, the sun was overshadowed by rain clouds and my companion no longer reflects his laughing eyes and his entused self. He started to let go of my hand. Ever so slowly, as it appeared to me, he slowly withdrew his hold over me. He left me. He ran without me beside him, he went forward. And I followed him wih my gaze as he ran forth, I saw him took another hand and started to laugh once more. He looked back at me one last time and was forever gone.

It would seem that I stood there in the middle of the dirt road for the longest time. I looked around and I found myself lost in the middle of a barren wasteland, of dry fields extending to edge of the horizon on both sides, standing on a stony and dirt filled road that meets the stormy rainclouds up ahead. I dropped onto the ground and my soul cried of loneliness. My tears watered the soil and my cries deafened the thunders that traveled from way beyond the somewhere else.

One day I woke up. All tired and empty. The sage appeared to me once more, reminded me that I should pick up the pieces of my broken self and that one day I'd need to travel once more, searching for my somewhere else.

For the longest time I stood at the mouth of the dirt road. This time, I saw nothing beautiful, everything were mere shadows in my eyes. Several times I've seen hands reach up to me, several times I saw them leave without me. Once I almost took someone but I saw that his other hand is already full, and so I decided againts it. Once someone offered a hand and when I was about to take it I saw the hand withdrew fiercely. Once I thought of reaching someone else's hand but thought I shouldn't.

Once I walked through this lone path that I discovered when I was still young. I remember it as a wide dirt road, its earth solid and packed, almost as if polished by the thousands of feet that stomped on it over time. I used to think just how wonderful that dirt road looked, how verdant and green the plants are on both sides, hugging the entire length of the path. I used to like the way the road seemed to be alive with the various humming and chirping, as if all the birds and insects wanted to stay within the greenery that defines the way towards somewhere else. Once I walked through that dirt road with someone else's hand. Once I almost saw the end of it. Once I almost reached my somewhere else.