The Weight Of Air

The past year was my most trying year. I faced some of the darkest and most rocky paths of my everyday existence. Mostly, I had to conquer and deal with my inner demons. Those comprised of the things which I fear most.

Fear rendered me helpless for most part of my life. Until now, I would still chance upon it slinking slowly at my heels. I can't really tell whether I've been successful with keeping it at bay or if I was blindly listening to self inciting verdicts convincing myself that such a powerful demon can have no place in my almost fulfilling life.

The chances I've taken was more than enough to keep my mind running. I can't help but race time with hopes that fear won't be able to play catch up with the sickly thing that I am. Most would say I jumped from the shadows into the spotlight in less time it took someone else to sink in the mud covered swamps of the underworld. I was just lucky. And I can't decide just yet if I'd like to challenge fate and risk all the luck on my table.

Liberally, fate presented several tempting instances in the past few months. Some, I took upon with care, most I dropped in haste. Haste brought about by the same demon that caused everything to happen as is, fear. In this sense, I owe everything I have and everything I don't have to this alter ego of my nameless self.

This morning, another game was chanced by my jaded eyes. The field was cleared, the game fattened and ready, the hunt is about to start. I was given a minute at most to decide. And I can't. The curse is at me again. I wanted to wait and think. Thinking, as it was explained, can't be an option. And so, I am about to jump atop my broad, ready to hunt.

I might be able to outrun fear after all...I might...Or I can at least enjoy the ride.