I know my way around here
In a few days the friends I made here would be leaving. They would start over in a new place, with a new life so to speak. And I'll be left here. I've been long thinking of transferring to another company. Any company who would have me. I know I have several options. Better options. But I am way scared of leaving the comforts of the family who welcomed me here. I can't seem to find the courage to move out and seek another corner in the world I've known.
The whispered conversations in overcrowded hallways
The armosphere as thrilling here as always
I've been hearing a lot of talks and made up stories about me lately. Nothing really bothered me though. Until I heared something true. Truth hurts for some reason. A new friend just pointed to me the obvious. That I'm stupidly hounding a mirage made of nothing more than my own imagination. It's killing me.
Feel the early morning madness
Feel the magic in the making
Why everything's as if we never said goodbye
Another night that changed to morning. Another morning that almost turned to forever waiting. In the end though, that few minutes spent in my magical reverie made the hours of waiting well worth it. I still can't explain why I turn into a stupid ogre who can't muster the single word "goodbye" when I'm bewitched by that all too familiar embrace.
I'm coming out of make-up
The lights already burning
Not long until the cameras will start turning
A lot of people I know is watching me closely. I can feel they can't wait to see where I'm headed at. Some may be staying out of concern, but I know the others are there to prey on me. I'm gullible and reckless at times. I'm putting up a great show right now. Whether you feel it or not. A show that even I can't predict. That's the point of it all, I guess. The spontaneity will make it work in the end.
And this time we'll be bigger,
And brighter than we knew it
So watch me fly we all know I can do it.
I gained control over my life with the help of money. The job that I've always hated is the only thing that keeps me free, it's the only reason why I'm able to see and explore the rest of the world that has been left unseen. I'm never guaranteed that I'd find a good sight. But I'd rather experience the absolute abandonment I am enjoying right now than to be bound again. The world is a stage. I am it's actor. And I would play it hard, with the help of the freedom I'm paying for dearly.
The whispered conversations in overcrowded hallways
So much to say not just today but always
I just want to write. Don't judge me for what I put in here. Don't think you know me just because you read my everyday deal. This is not me. It's a mere reflection of the complex image I am pursuing to see. I appreciate anyone though who reads this. You might find me amusing, just something you could read while you're bored to death. Or maybe you just feel that one day I'll grow tired of writing about the events in my so-so life and you can't wait to predict when the last entry would come. I have no excuse if you hate what I write. And no, I have no qualms if you think I shouldn't do this. As I've said before though, this is my blog, and I'll write whatever I want to write, whenever I feel like writing and talk about anything I want to talk about. All in all, YOU are the one reading, you have your own set of choices. Why not close the window and forget you ever knew this page ever existed. Or tell me what you think. Cause I'm sure, you too have a lot to say. Thanks for keeping Hanne company.
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