Internal Damage

I have a feeling that the hormones are working overtime today. My emotions are quite erratic lately. I never knew my heart can do somersaults.

Several times I felt like crying, out of frustration and out of desperation. After the initial reaction of a sob, I would then realize that I have no reason to feel either because everything is better than ever. As Gilbert pointed out a while ago, I'm better off than most in the career department. Yeah! But on the personal department I am way, way at the bottom of this shitty hell-hole.

Maybe I just don't like the feeling of being away from someone I really wanna be with. As he noted, I'm very possessive. And he likes it that way. That guy is as insane as I am.

Then there's work, I'm doing great if you'll ask anyone here at the office, but I just don't feel like I belong. It's like I want to do something else. Don't get me wrong, I like my job, but I have a feeling that I'm in for something better. A lot better. Opportunities, show thy gifts!

Got to talk to an old guy buddy last night. We talked about relationships and friendships. I'm glad I'm not the only one that has those ideas. Sometimes I think I have so little faith in the human capability to love and care for others...Then again, I think we do have a point. Not all of you friends are friends and not all relationships are based on love.

I'm planning to de-stress my life this weekend. How I'm gonna do it, is still abig question. Any suggestions?