Roughly 7 hours from now, I'd be dressing to kill. Literally dressing to kill myself as I head to work. And I honestly, honestly thought the new job would help me get out of the rut. Guess what...I'm still tired. I can still feel the tension in my muscles. I can still hear the whispers in my head. And I can still picture myself gone. Gone meaning away. Yes, I want to run away from it all. Everything. Just to turn my back and run.
Could be the hormones talking. Sabi nga ni boss, tumitira ako ng estrogen. Well, actually it's an anti-androgen pill sweetie.
What's worse is that I was not able to anticipate the amount of control I'd need not to feel like I'm "withdrawing". It's seems like I'm going through one hell of a time detoxifying myself from everything that used to matter in my life. It's not anywhere near easy, I tell you. It's like having an insatiable urge to do something or say something over and over again because you'd hope that each time you do would be the last, but you just can't stop.
Is it now safe to assume I'm losing my head? Where's that paper bag I wanted on my head again?!
What's worse is that I was not able to anticipate the amount of control I'd need not to feel like I'm "withdrawing". It's seems like I'm going through one hell of a time detoxifying myself from everything that used to matter in my life. It's not anywhere near easy, I tell you. It's like having an insatiable urge to do something or say something over and over again because you'd hope that each time you do would be the last, but you just can't stop.
Is it now safe to assume I'm losing my head? Where's that paper bag I wanted on my head again?!
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