Human Relations

I'm just way tired of having to interpret other people. In as much as I would like to say, "to hell with you!" and "I don't care what you think!" I do care and I don't want to just brush people off like they are not important. I know I could live without certain people. Heck, I was able to do it. Of course though, just like everything human, I want to conenct and reconnect. But really, it's tiring. Putting up with everyone's mood swings and whatnot are just darn tiring.

I have my own set of mood swings and indifinite changes in mental sanity...only difference is I tell people. It might not help much really, but my point is, at least I'm telling you to not talk to me or to back off before anything bad happens between us because I really can't control myself at the moment. It works most of the time, especially here at work.

Recently, I've been conducting interviews again for the new posts within the team. I used to really enjoy that, being able to talk to the agents and have them tell me what they think and me being able to explain to them some obscure facts that got filtered down and was left unexplained. Now though, the entire thing seems to be getting old. Maybe because I know they could hire anyone and it really won't me personally given that I'd still be alone in my one man department. Second, knowing that the person we'd hire might just end up all disappointed...just like us.

Then there's myself. I don't know how to pick myself up lately. Am losing hope. Me? Lose hope? I never thought it was possible. I guess, I know now.

Now I'm blabbing. Long story short, I hate it when people act up for no reason. And if you do have one, tell the other person involved will you, we we're not made to read minds and know excatly how you're feeling. If you don't want to then let go and move on, negativity just won't do you any good.

Well, that's my take on it. And that's what I've been trying to do.

On the other side of my world...he's still alive. I want him dead! Hahaha~ Well, with all honesty, I'm okay with it. He could live for 5,000 years as Cecile would say and I really don't care. I'm in the process of erasing him from my life. Good thing nobody really knows him, it saves me a lot of explaining. Sorry friends, but some things are meant to be kept. Also, I wanna be able to forgive him as soon as possible. I want my conscience to be clean. No negativity as much as possible.