There Goes The Tears

I just said that one should take risks. That you should live life and try the thing that scares you the most. I did that. It was exhilirating. And now there's pain.

I'm not asking for anything from anyone. You can totally ignore this entry really, it just so happen my journal is open to all. I don't mind people reading what I have to say as long as I'm not judged, because as always, nobody's in that position right now.

Ever since I've tried to be that person who sees the light inside of everyone. And it's hard being that person. When everybody else thinks otherwise. I am Veronika who's inside the asylum just because I think differently. I was the friend of the friendless way back in school. I was the person who's being fed to the lions when no one's willing to try and tame it. I am the one who referees fights that no one wants to have a hand in.

I tried it again. A piece of glass who can convince anyone he's a diamond. I tried knowing what everyone told me, that he's worthless. I believed knowing what people had gone through, that he's a liar. And I took my chances.

I haven't proven his guilt yet. Not beyond resonable doubt. He might still be worth it for all I know. I'm gunning my engines. I'm getting ready to fight. And if all else fails. Then I flee. As always.

He was my hope. For me, as long as I'm able to believe him, then I can believe in anything. As long as I'm capable of being with him, then I can weather everything. And if he fails...then there goes my tears.

Maybe then I'd beleive that endless hoping are for fools.