Monday, June 26, 2006

Good Girls Finish Last


I have no idea why I always finish last. Well, I'm nowhere near the bottom btu not on top as well. And bad people gets to go on top, even when everyone else knows they're bad.

I guess I'm sourgraping. Patrick just told me he's back at ICT, with a day job, for an Aussie account. Why'd he get all the good stuff? And I'm sure as hell they're paying him well, because he won't accept anything below his standards. And I know what kind of standards he'd set up for himself, I should know. But heck. This time I really am bitter.

Also, I can't decide on whether I am ready and capable of being on my own. All of a sudden I'm having a mountain of doubt atop of my head. We all know what doubt can do us. I definitely know what doubt can do to me. It's causing me to die slowly. I DON'T want to DIE just yet. I gotta fight.

Ohmy, hear me talk and hear me rant. I'm sooooo hopeless right now. Maybe I just need some sleep. Maybe.


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Panic

It's creeping in. I am worried. My anxiety is picking up.  Please