An Open Letter

Hey you,

Haven't done this letter writing thing for quite sometime. It's almost 4AM and I just woke up, yeah, you guessed it, restday...haaa, time to catch some sleep. And you know what? I so hate this. I don't like being awake with nothint to do. It might have worked back when I was younger, it was actually cool way back then. Now though, the silence and the lack of things to do makes me think. And yes, mostly the things that I don't want to address.

Funny that just when you thought you're more able to handle anything and everything, that's when you'd wake up realizing that you need help. Like serious help.

Do you have any idea how lonely my days could get? I'm sick. I know you're there, well, maybe not physically. I've got tons of friends, I just gotta choose from which part of the country I wanna hang with. I've got my family and my cousins. I've hobbies and books and more money to burn that I used to. Then why do I feel that my days are actually emptier. Am I mid-life-ing this early?

It might not seem like it, because I don't think I was able to fully show what I was feeling before...but I used to bevery passionate with everything that I do. Now I can't seem to find anything that I like or want enough to keep it. I'm just moving around, exhausting myself just so that for the next few hours I wouldn't remember or feel or see just how empty everything seems.

Now you tell me. Am I going crazy? Hahaha~ Am I harassing you na? Nah, don't worry about me. I just need to let this off. One way or another it'll come out anyway.

I know you don't agree with me whenever I'd say I envy you. You'd always tell me I'm better off being single and all. Maybe you're right. Still, I envy you. Still.

Me